Replies: 16
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110%er [5717]
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Joined: 9/12/16
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IT'S TIME
Feb 6, 2018, 8:23 PM
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NOTICE DUE TO THE GREAT RECRUITING YEAR AND THE OUTSTANDING PROSPECT OF CLEMSON FOOTBALL THE TRIP IS BEING POSTPONED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE. WE WILL JUST HAVE TO SUCK IT UP AND WIPE SWEAT. ALL PROVISIONS WILL BE FREEZE DRIED TO PREVENT SPOILAGE.
According to climate change experts the earth is rapidly reaching the point that humans can no longer survive here. I have not been sitting around idly doing nothing. I have built a two stage vehicle capable of reaching Mars. My ship was constructed primarily from junk yard parts and equipment scrounged from various construction sites. The first stage is powered by a 8.4 liter 640 HP V 10 gasoline engine. This was necessary due to the high torque generated by this power plant to leave earth's gravity . The second stage is powered by a Caterpillar C12 1400 HP diesel engine. She was christened " Mars or Bust" by Miss Waffle House 1994 with a 6 year old bottle of Bush Light. The following supplies have been procured and stowed aboard ready for departure:
1. 100 cases of Lance Peanut Butter Crackers 2. 100 cases of Vienna Sausages 3. 100 cases of Moon Pies 4. 50 cases of Nehi Grape Drinks 5. 50 cases of Nehi Orange Drinks 6. 50 cases of Hershey Bars with Almonds 7. 100 cases of toilet paper 8. 50 cases of paper towels 9. 20 cases of garbage bags 10. 50 Homer buckets from Home Depot 11. 75 cases of Spam
The Ship's crew consist of individuals with impeccable credentials and are as follows:
Captain........Me Pilot..........Harrison Ford Technical Adviser and Navigator...........Stephen Hawkins Weapons Officer Sigourney Weaver Natural Resources Officer...........Ole Spud Inter-Galactic Interpreter..........Art Bell Sanitation and Latrine Officers.........Well, you know who you are
This will be a one way flight, space is limited, all seats reserved on a first come basis. Good looking wimmen will be moved to the front of the line. Sorry no COOTS!
Message was edited by: Purple Gunstock 15®
Message was edited by: Purple Gunstock 15®
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Heisman Winner [140960]
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Re: IT'S TIME***
Feb 6, 2018, 8:26 PM
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Legend [16159]
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Alkeehaul is a heckuva drug...
Feb 6, 2018, 8:26 PM
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...enjoy your trip.
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All-In [27366]
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This has to be fake.
Feb 6, 2018, 8:39 PM
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No dippin' dots means no trip.
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110%er [5717]
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Re: This has to be fake.
Feb 6, 2018, 8:42 PM
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would you rather have dippin' dot or the latrine crew, space is limited.
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All-In [26209]
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Re: This has to be fake.
Feb 6, 2018, 9:05 PM
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Class of '09 is highly qualified for latrine and sanitation supervisor. He is 110% coot and can be jettisoned at any time when he gets aggravating.
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Hall of Famer [23693]
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Yeah, and too much tp.
Feb 7, 2018, 1:55 PM
[ in reply to This has to be fake. ] |
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Because there's no fibre in that diet.
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110%er [5857]
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Re: IT'S TIME
Feb 6, 2018, 9:18 PM
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If you got Vienna sausages then I’m in.
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Orange Blooded [4048]
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Wait...no Spam? Vienna Sausage, Moon Pies, and Lance
Feb 6, 2018, 9:30 PM
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crackers are good. But, an epic trip such as this requires Spam.
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All-In [26209]
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Re: Wait...no Spam? Vienna Sausage, Moon Pies, and Lance
Feb 6, 2018, 9:37 PM
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Beanie Weinees should be on that list too. They are good with Viennas and Lance crackers and will provide extra fuel if needed.
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110%er [5717]
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Re: Wait...no Spam? Vienna Sausage, Moon Pies, and Lance
Feb 6, 2018, 9:42 PM
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Blazing Saddles on Mars? OK you can bring what you can bring in your carry on bag.
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Athletic Dir [878]
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Re: IT'S TIME
Feb 6, 2018, 10:41 PM
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Don't need water because viennas have the meat and drink in the same can
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Oculus Spirit [94265]
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I'm not slumming with you.
Feb 6, 2018, 11:38 PM
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I'm taking my Black 1985 300SD Mercedes I just need to figure out where to put the oxygen tank.
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All-TigerNet [13703]
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Re: IT'S TIME
Feb 6, 2018, 11:48 PM
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I think you should add Andy Griffith as your salvage expert.
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110%er [7723]
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Wow, this is just stupid.
Feb 7, 2018, 8:47 AM
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How can you possibly be going to space and not have any alcohol on board?
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110%er [5717]
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Re: Wow, this is just stupid.
Feb 7, 2018, 8:57 AM
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I know, I know. What I didn't tell you is that I have stowed away enough corn, rye, barley and other necessary supplies to make our own upon arrival. I certainly appreciate your concern in this matter.
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CU Medallion [51567]
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Make sure you build at least one lead lined chamber to
Feb 8, 2018, 1:00 PM
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protect yourself from solar flares/radiation. That's one of the largest obstacles for man's journey past the moon.
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Replies: 16
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