Re: Give me your best UGA jokes

All-In [35206]

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Posts: 6908

Joined: 7/2/13

UGA jokes- Here ya go!!!

Aug 26, 2015, 12:16 AM

Mark Richt, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around when they came to a modest little house with a Bulldogs flag in the window.

"This house is yours for eternity," said God. "This is very special, not everyone gets a house up here."

The coach felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a 3-story mansion that had a 50 foot tall flagpole with an enormous Clemson Tigers flag, and in every window was the Clemson logo.

The coach looked at God and said, "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I tried to be a nice fella, maybe I ran my mouth a bit at times but...''

God said, "So, what's your question?"

"Well," said the coach, "why does Danny Ford get a better house than me?"

God responded, "That's not Danny Ford's house, it's mine."

One foggy night, a Clemson fan and a Georgia fan were driving the opposite directions. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars.

The Bulldog fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car, spat on the ground and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive!"

Likewise, the Tiger fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.

The Georgia fan walks over to the Tiger fan and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals."

The Tiger fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck."

The Tiger fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel's. He says to the Bulldog fan, "I think this is another sign - we should toast to our new found friendship." The Georgia fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After chugging down half of the bottle, the Georgia fan hands it back to the Tiger fan and says, "Your turn!"

The Tiger fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."

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Lewis Grizzard: The Dawg Story

What would Auburn week be without the epic tale of Bubba N Earl going to the Auburn game?

“Got to tell the dog story. There’s somebody left who hasn’t heard the dog story.

We are playing Auburn. Sanford Stadium. National Television. Winner wins the Southeastern Conference; goes to the Sugar Bowl.

85,000 people jammed into Sanford Stadium. National television audience. This game is on the Armed Service Network. People in Switzerland are seeing this ballgame. Going everywhere.

The band cranks up “Glory, Glory to Ole Georgia” and our team comes running out. 85,000 stand as one.

We are led by our gallant mascot, UGA-U-G-A. What a dog! What a gorgeous dog. What a symbol of ferocity. But UGA ain’t real smart. UGA did not realize he was at a football game. Nor did he realize he was on national television, and was going into living rooms the width and breadth of this great nation.

And there, in front of all them people, he began to lick himself where dogs occasionally want to lick themselves, ok?

We don’t have to get any more graphic than that.

Bubba an’ Earl sittin’ on the fifty.
Bubba sees the dog, punches Earl and said, ‘Earl, look at that dog. Dadgum, I wish I could do that.’

Earl said, ‘ Bubba, that dog’ll bite you!’”

Give me your best UGA jokes

Here's another I haven't told in a while....

I don't get it at all. There is no difference.

UGA jokes- Here ya go!!!

other than the

Not so fast.......Kentucky's on the rise.***