Pigskin Prophet: Broken Foot Edition

by Pigskin Prophet - Contributor - Thu Oct 19 12:08:00 GMT-04:00 2023

The Pigskin Prophet might be a tad abbreviated this week because we are trying to get the Gamecocks from Columbia to Columbia. Along with some extra precautions.

In case you missed it, South Carolina head coach Shane Beamer was throwing his usual hissy fit (I would call it a tantrum, but I think that is an insult to children who throw tantrums, so it’s a hissy fit) after South Carolina lost to Florida and he tried to kick his defensive coordinator in the leg.

In true Gamecock fashion, he missed, and instead hit a poor, innocent Gatorade cooler that was in the office. Now, normally a Gatorade cooler wouldn’t cause much damage to someone, but since the Gamecocks won the Mayo Bowl and Beamer was slathered in mayonnaise (say it like Louis Gossett’s character in An Officer and a Gentleman….mayo---nayyyy-zzze), he wants a bucket full of mayo in his office so his coaches can dunk it over his head after they win. When the Gamecocks took the late lead on the Gators, the minions filled the bucket with mayo, and old Shane kicked and broke his foot.

So what am I doing? I am responsible for the mayo, and the Gatorade bucket. But we’ve put a special padding around it so he can’t throw another hissy and break something else. And I am responsible for the x-ray machine.

Now, let’s get to some picks.

FRIDAY

SMU AT TEMPLE

If you are a fan of the ACC, this is a must-watch as future ACC member SMU travels to Philly to take on Temple. I’m just kidding. Nobody cares. SMU 41, TEMPLE 20

SATURDAY

PENN ST. AT OHIO ST.

Yep, let’s get the party started early Saturday when the Nittany Lions travel to Columbus to take on the Buckeyes in a B1G battle. In case you haven’t noticed, the Lions have cruised through the first part of the schedule and look fantastic in all phases of the game. Ohio St. on the other hand, has struggled at points this season and looks vulnerable. But here’s the deal – Ohio St. is used to playing in big games, and Penn St. has James Franklin as the head coach. He’s won a few big games in Happy Valley, but not nearly enough to predict a win here. OHIO ST. 24, PENN ST. 20

TENNESSEE AT ALABAMA

This one is always fun, when the Hillbillies leave their mountain retreat and head down to mullet land. And you’d better believe that Alabama remembers when Tennessee fans, who haven’t won much of anything except stuffed animals at Dollywood since the late 1990’s, carried off the goalposts, the benches, the cheerleaders, the officials and anything else they could find after the win over the Tide last season. Neither of these teams look like national title contenders, not yet, and this will be a true test of where they stand. I like a mad Nick Saban here. ALABAMA 27, TENNESSEE 23

SOUTH CAROLINA AT MISSOURI

Mayo---nayyy—zzeee takes his yard fowl into the other Columbia to take on the Tigers. The yardbirds are clicking on offense and the quarterback is playing at a high level despite spending more time on the ground than a Spirit Airlines jet. But that defense? Ooof. There is a reason Mayo wanted to kick the defensive coordinator last week. And guess what? Missouri has some playmakers, more than Florida, and will score early and often. No Mayo this week, my friend. And don’t kick the bucket. MIZZOU 40, MAYO 28

CLEMSON AT MIAMI

Ok, we just aren’t sure what either of these teams are yet. Not by a long shot. Miami’s head coach doesn’t appear to understand game management (and at times, Clemson struggles with that, too) but the Canes need a win in the worst way after dropping two straight. One thing is for sure, we know it will be a raucous atmosphere in Hard Rock Joe Robbie Pro Player Park Pro Player Stadium Dolphins Stadium Dolphin Stadium Land Shark Stadium Sun Life Stadium. There will be tens and tens of fans there, and it might even be a sellout if they close off the top decks, the middle decks, and one side of the stadium. I am sure they can fit all 12,000 fans in one spot. Clemson wins despite the almost loud noise. CLEMSON 27, MIAMI 17

DUKE AT FLORIDA ST.

Here we go. Duke and Florida St. face off in what might be a preview of the ACC Championship Game. The Dookies have played well to start the season, losing only to Notre Dame in the last seconds, but there are questions at quarterback and this isn’t a team used to winning big games on the road. The Seminoles? They just keep rolling right along, not a care in the world, and will dispatch the Dookies this weekend. It won’t be easy, but they get the job done. FSU 31, DOOK 16