'05 USC Football Season Tix Application

Jun 15, 2005, 2:38 PM

Maybe old, but I have been on vacation and haven't seen it here yet:

2005 USC FOOTBALL SEASON TICKET APPLICATION

Please check the appropriate box(es):

⁭I prefer seating field level seating.

WARNING: Not responsible for your safety from our athletes.

Please leave all electronic gear at home.

⁭ I prefer seating near a portal.

WARNING: Not responsible for halftime and 3rd quarter stampedes

from our fans.

⁭ I prefer seating near the visitors seating.

WARNING: Must be able to tolerate excessive 2nd half cheering from

our opponents as our team self implodes.

⁭ I prefer seating near the 2001 entrance portal.

WARNING: Must be able to tolerate the ganja smoke created as the

players enter Williams Brice. No one under 18 allowed.

New Offers for 2005(Half-game seating)

⁭ I prefer 1st half seats only at a 10% reduced rate

⁭ I prefer 2nd half seats only at an 80% reduced rate (ample quantities available)

Parking

⁭ I prefer parking in crack alley. No one under 18 allowed.

⁭ I prefer parking in prostitute alley. No one under 18 allowed.

⁭ I prefer parking on the dirt in the State Fairgrounds. Dust masks recommended.

Not recommended for those fans on a respirator device.

⁭ I prefer parking next to the abandoned warehouses (Please specify loading

dock area or train tracks)

New Economy Parking Offers for 2005

⁭ I prefer parking at the scenic Metro Wastewater Treatment Facility. Derrick Watson

and Demetrius Summers to provide transportation to and from stadium at your own risk.

⁭ I prefer parking at the Richland County Detention Facility (Former players will

be available two hours prior to game time for autographs). Transportation will be provided in “secure” buses by RCDF.

Voluntary Contribution

I would like to donate ______ additional dollars to the Richland County Detention

Facility for housing and feeding many of our student athletes during the past year.

As in the past, all season ticket holders will receive a year’s free supply of our special

Coot Kool Aide.

flag link

military_tech

thumb_down

thumb_up

"Mind if we dance wif yo' dates?"

'05 USC Football Season Tix Application

Hilarious

Then it's my post of the day, since I'm the author, lol***

Good one. I actually got it from a coot friend.***

Excellent...hope they enjoyed it ;-)***

extremely funny***

TigerBoard POTD