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Replies: 39
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110%er [6358]
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What is a good 40 time for a fiancé?
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Dec 7, 2023, 7:34 AM
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I hit it off really well with a woman during happy hour at Applebees last week. She had a great sense of humor and was really pretty. I think I finally found someone who likes strawberry margaritas and mozzarella sticks as much as I do.
We ended up going back to my place and the next morning she told me that she just went through a divorce and offered me a great deal on her wedding ring so I can give it to my girlfriend and become an honest man. I really never thought I’d get hitched, but seeing that NCAA proposal guaranteeing income to D1 college athletes has got me thinking that settling down and producing athletes is a solid plan to finally achieve the financial stability that has eluded me so far.
Anyhow, the weather is supposed to be nice on Saturday so I’m putting my girlfriend through a combine to make sure she’s she got good jeans. She thinks it’s a creative idea for a date and has no idea it’s really a test.
I’m aiming for Clemson level athletes, not slow Big 10 types. She has no family from Ohio or Michigan so I’m optimistic so far. I’m thinking about making her run a 40, measuring vertical leap, testing hand eye coordination by making her stop curveballs intentionally thrown in the dirt, and finishing things off with a cone drill using beer cans I emptied during the earlier events.
Please let me know if you think I need to add any tests. And before anyone asks, I’m not going to make her weigh herself in front of me. I’m not stupid and I can get that from her Fitbit.
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Commissioner [955]
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Re: What is a good 40 time for a fiancé?
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Dec 7, 2023, 7:45 AM
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So is your goal to shoot for a "Tail Back" or a "Tight End". I guess a Tail Back would have more earnings potential.
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Heisman Winner [135993]
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110%er [6358]
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Re: Given your penchant for golf. You should include
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Dec 7, 2023, 8:53 AM
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Nothing upsets me more than women on the golf course. A golf course should be a sanctuary for men.
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All-American [560]
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2+2=4, the sky is blue, water is wet****
Dec 7, 2023, 1:56 PM
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Hall of Famer [22741]
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Re: What is a good 40 time for a fiancé?
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Dec 7, 2023, 7:57 AM
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TLDR but it probably depends on whether she is running away from you or chasing you.
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Athletic Dir [884]
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Re: What is a good 40 time for a fiancé?
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Dec 7, 2023, 8:04 AM
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Yep. Depends where you live, too. That initial 10 yard split to measure acceleration is a big deal in Florida swamps where you just have to get out of reach of the gators on land. But, if you are more coastal, you probably want to throw a 50 or 100 meter swim time in there for sharks. Remember, marathoners don't matter. Humans are the only animals that are relentless enough for long distance. Big cats are ambush predators despite the incredible speed of cheetahs. Antelopes and deer run fast and have impressive leaping ability but unless you have cauliflower ear, they are not threats.
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Legend [15216]
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I'd focus more on her height/weight.
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Dec 7, 2023, 8:12 AM
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If she's somewhere in the 6'0 range with a big frame (225-275 lbs), then you can work with that.
One thing you can't teach is size.
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Orange Blooded [3615]
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Re: I'd focus more on her height/weight.
Dec 7, 2023, 8:35 AM
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Hahaha
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110%er [6358]
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Legend [17782]
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Re: I'd focus more on her height/weight.
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Dec 7, 2023, 3:10 PM
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Won’t know until you try
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Associate AD [836]
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Re: What is a good 40 time for a fiancé?
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Dec 7, 2023, 8:21 AM
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This post and all the comments have me rolling! This is fricking awesome!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
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Orange Blooded [3615]
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Re: What is a good 40 time for a fiancé?
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Dec 7, 2023, 8:34 AM
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I know you're dead serious and I like that about you. That's problem with people nowadays, they don't plan. They just want things handed to them. I think you're on it. I just hope you don't have to recruit another potential mother for your future athlete. I also hope these results are elite. An update would be appreciated. You're in my prayers.
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CU Guru [1537]
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Re: What is a good 40 time for a fiancé?
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Dec 7, 2023, 8:39 AM
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40 times depends in todays day and age.
Good 40 time for female competing against female or trans competing against female?
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Athletic Dir [884]
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Re: What is a good 40 time for a fiancé?
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Dec 7, 2023, 8:40 AM
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What if they identify as a toaster?
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All-In [26514]
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Too risky. Go with a known commodity
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Dec 7, 2023, 8:39 AM
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Send Lia Thomas some roses and a card. Don’t forget the card.
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All-TigerNet [10217]
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You lost me at Applebees. That place is
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Dec 7, 2023, 8:41 AM
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So nasty in the back. You would never eat there if I shared with you what I know.
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Orange Blooded [3615]
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Re: You lost me at Applebees. That place is
Dec 7, 2023, 8:42 AM
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Example?
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Oculus Spirit [85339]
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Oculus Spirit [85339]
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I would guess 5.2 or under
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Dec 7, 2023, 8:52 AM
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I'm making some assumptions here on ...uh.....skin tone ...and age.
I'm basing this on my gf's untested 40 time in high school. She was incredibly fast and she could run pretty quick also.
I assume she ran a 40 around 4.88-4.94 and she probably had a shot at the 100m title in 2A.
So anyway, basing it on that information, I'm going with 5.2 seconds or faster.
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110%er [6358]
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Re: I would guess 5.2 or under
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Dec 7, 2023, 9:38 AM
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This is exactly the kind of insight I was looking for! I really like this prospect so I hope she turns around something in the 4’s.
I get nervous just thinking about it. It’s all so romantic.
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Hall of Famer [20573]
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Oculus Spirit [93678]
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I agree and might suggest you add a swimming test.
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Dec 7, 2023, 9:00 AM
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That should include a lap both ways on an Olympic pool. Station yourself at the turn end and video her push off on that wall, underwater would be great.
Nothing shows the power the legs and hips of the push as well as one which uses water provides the resisting force. I'd be happy to do my favorite hip and leg push test after I see the film, it's head and shoulders better than the hip/let force alone.
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Orange Blooded [3615]
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Re: I agree and might suggest you add a swimming test.
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Dec 7, 2023, 9:07 AM
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Is there enough money in that in the long haul in comparison? Practically speaking, and finacially planning for his retirement, he is better off finding a wife who can create an NBA player, MLB player, NFL player, or a College Football Player. I have a feeling he has thought this out and after a few strawberry margheritas, it became very clear what to do. I feel good about his plan.
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Legend [17786]
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User Name checks out***
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Dec 7, 2023, 9:07 AM
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All-TigerNet [11183]
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Dont forget bench press and squat
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Dec 7, 2023, 10:00 AM
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You might need her to hold you up in your old age (unless you just keep going younger through the portal). I didn’t think these things through enough with Mrs ALLweatherfan as she is a petite woman.
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All-In [25714]
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Re: What is a good 40 time for a fiancé?
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Dec 7, 2023, 10:31 AM
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If it is a female athlete you are looking for, Applebees was the wrong portal. You need to widen your search and attend one of those Drag Queen story hour sessions at your local kindergarten school.
Here's a good prospect for you.
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CU Guru [1769]
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Re: What is a good 40 time for a fiancé?
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Dec 7, 2023, 10:38 AM
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Applebees? You have this all wrong given your goals. You should be hanging out at Ben Boulwares gym and your selection criteria should be - wearing no makeup and all the guys are saying “yeah she’s hot but is it a guy?!”
You’re welcome.
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Orange Blooded [4711]
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Re: What is a good 40 time for a fiancé?
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Dec 7, 2023, 10:39 AM
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There is a much easier, safer way. Find a picture of her mother. Hang it on your bathroom mirror so you can see it every day for 21 days. At the point you are convinced that the picture is actually your wife someday, course complete and you are ready to finalize your decision. If done properly, your fiance will never know she has been tested nor why she failed bigly. After that, you should feel better, safer and more at peace and ready to pursue a new fiance with a gorgeous, youthful-looking Mom. Done!
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All-In [25714]
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Re: What is a good 40 time for a fiancé?
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Dec 7, 2023, 10:44 AM
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Going for looks is probably what he did the first time, second, third and 4th. This probably being his 5th trip down the aisle in a magistrates office, he should be looking for money, which he's now doing. So, hang money on that mirror.
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110%er [6358]
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Re: What is a good 40 time for a fiancé?
Dec 7, 2023, 12:02 PM
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Good looking, rich, and able to produce college athletes? I’m looking for a wife, not a unicorn.
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All-In [28416]
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Re: What is a good 40 time for a fiancé?
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Dec 7, 2023, 10:53 AM
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All-TigerNet [10492]
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Re: What is a good 40 time for a fiancé?
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Dec 7, 2023, 11:27 AM
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ZERO to Kitchen……..when I say.
Kidding. kidding. kidding…….
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CU Guru [1257]
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Re: What is a good 40 time for a fiancé?
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Dec 7, 2023, 1:26 PM
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For the 40 time, I would say she needs to be one click faster than you so she can escape the trap. As far as other suggested tests.....I would say an STD exam is in order for YOU. The sweety at Applebee's may have given you the gift that keeps on giving. Just sayin'.
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CU Guru [1257]
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Re: What is a good 40 time for a fiancé?
Dec 7, 2023, 1:27 PM
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Applebee's.....should be called Apple-pees. Your Weiner is gonna swell up like a baby's arm holding an apple and it's gonna hurt when you pee.
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CU Guru [1257]
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Re: What is a good 40 time for a fiancé?
Dec 7, 2023, 1:31 PM
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Do I even need to say anything about OHHHH-CHARLEY'S? Just glad Steak and Ail is out of business. Have you tried the deli at Pubix?
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CU Guru [1257]
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Re: What is a good 40 time for a fiancé?
Dec 7, 2023, 1:32 PM
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Why did Burger King get the clap? He didn't wrap his Whopper when he met up with Wendy's baconhater. Bwahahaha!!!
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CU Guru [1257]
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Re: What is a good 40 time for a fiancé?
Dec 7, 2023, 1:34 PM
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As we used to say when I work at the Dairy Queen, "You might lick our cones, but you can't beat our meat!"
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CU Guru [1257]
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Re: What is a good 40 time for a fiancé?
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Dec 7, 2023, 1:35 PM
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I kill me...
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All-American [560]
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Pics first, nudes strongly preferred(unless she's a Holstein)****
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Dec 7, 2023, 1:54 PM
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Replies: 39
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