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Athletic Dir [857]
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Time for us old alumni to post our favorite gamecock joke.
Nov 21, 2022, 8:44 AM
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A Clemson fan was on the way to the game when he saw a couple of gamecock fans thumbing a ride on I-85. He stopped and picked them up and on the way asked what happened to their car. They said it had broken down before they got out of Columbia so they went to a rental place to rent one. The clerk said" all our cars are rented because of the game and all I have is this old mule I keep out back". We decided to take the mule but when the mule stopped at a traffic light in Greenviile a car load of Clemson fans pulled up beside us. One stuck his head out the window and said "Look at those two a** holes
on that mule. Well. we had to see that for ourselves so we climbed down to go behind the mule and look and when we did the light turned green and the mule took off.
Message was edited by: Buz66®
Message was edited by: Buz66®
Message was edited by: Buz66®
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1st Rounder [628]
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Re: Time for us old alumni to post our favorite gamecock joke.
Nov 21, 2022, 8:52 AM
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To Scar students were going bear hunting. As they drove in the country they came to a curve in the road and a sign with a curved arrow that said “Bear Left”, so they went home.
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110%er [5712]
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Re: Time for us old alumni to post our favorite gamecock joke.
Nov 22, 2022, 4:57 PM
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You can’t post a lot of the old coot jokes anymore. They were not PC or “woke” enough. God forbid that we might hurt a coots little feelings.
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110%er [8587]
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Why did gamecack university cancel their Christmas Pageant?
Nov 21, 2022, 8:56 AM
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They couldn’t find 3 wise men and a virgin.
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110%er [9611]
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Re: Time for us old alumni to post our favorite gamecock joke.
Nov 21, 2022, 8:58 AM
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I was riding down the road with a USuCk fan and I asked him to look out the window to see if my turn signal was working. He said, "yes,no,yes,no,yes,no"
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110%er [9109]
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Re: Time for us old alumni to post our favorite gamecock joke.
Nov 21, 2022, 8:59 AM
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The embalmer at the funeral home was in on Saturday routinely working on another body for a funeral, getting it dressed in its burial clothes which he awkwardly noted was a full Gamecock suit - garnet, black and little Gamecock logos all over it. As he rolled the body over to finish pulling the clothes on it, he thought he heard "Go C0-cks" somewhere there in the morgue. He looked around, saw no one there, and rolled the body back over to finish dressing it and heard "Go #####" again. After looking around again, and then rolling the body and hearing it again, he realized the sound was coming from the corpse's a s s hole. Shocked, he phoned anyone he could think of, from the local news, to national news, to TMZ and everyone in between. Finally, they all assembled at the funeral home where the embalmer had the body on proud display. He rolled the body over, "Go C0-cks" came from the a s s hole again, and everyone promptly left with disappointed looks on their faces. The confused embalmer grabbed a reporter and said "Why is everyone leaving? This is amazing! This has never happened before!" The reporter looked at the embalmer, shook his head and said, "Listen buddy, you may have never heard it before, but I can go to Williams Brice Stadium and hear 70,000 a s s holes yelling 'Go C0-cks'. Happens every gameday Saturday." The embalmer disappointedly rolled the body back over one more time, hoping to hear "Go C0-cks" again, but heard nothing this time. He yelled at the reporter before he left the morgue and said, "It stopped saying 'Go C0-cks' - what happened??" The reporter pulled out his phone and looked at the Score app and said, "It's the 3rd quarter. All the a s s holes shut up after halftime."
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Legend [16955]
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Re: Time for us old alumni to post our favorite gamecock joke.
Nov 21, 2022, 4:22 PM
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?????
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CU Guru [1469]
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Re: Time for us old alumni to post our favorite gamecock joke.
Nov 21, 2022, 9:00 AM
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What do they print on the bottom of a coke can at SCAR?---Open other end.
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Legend [17626]
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Re: Time for us old alumni to post our favorite gamecock joke.
Nov 21, 2022, 9:02 AM
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A Coot and a Dawg fan went fishing in a rented boat. They were tearing them up and decided to come back the next day. The Coot asked the Dawg, "How will we know where to find this honey hole again?" The Dawg reached into his tackle box, pulled out a piece of chalk, and marked an "X" in the bottom of the boat. The Coot said, "You dumb-a$$. How do we know we'll get this same boat tomorrow?"
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Hall of Famer [22740]
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Re: Time for us old alumni to post our favorite gamecock joke.
Nov 21, 2022, 9:04 AM
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A Clemson fan and a Gamecoot fan were coming out of the public restroom and the Gamecoot fan said “at USuC they teach us to wash our hands after using the bathroom”. The Tiger fan said “ at Clemson they teach us not to p e e on our hands”.
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Legend [17626]
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Re: Time for us old alumni to post our favorite gamecock joke.
Nov 21, 2022, 9:07 AM
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Off-topic but true story that Rhett's joke reminded me of. An NC St. friend of mine attended the game between the Tigers and the Wolfpack many years back. He said he went to the restroom and walked up to a trough where a father in orange overalls and his small son were relieving themselves. The man said, "Don't pull out any more than you need to p e e with, Son. We don't want to embarrass anybody."
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CU Medallion [61846]
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Re: Time for us old alumni to post our favorite gamecock joke.
Nov 21, 2022, 9:06 AM
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WARNING: This is corny ...
Q. What is the difference between Bigfoot and a SCar cheerleader?
A. One is big, ugly, hairy, and smells like rot. The other has big feet.
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Orange Blooded [2404]
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Re: Time for us old alumni to post our favorite gamecock joke.
Nov 21, 2022, 9:23 AM
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Here's one from Coach Frank Howard:
Why do birds fly upside down in Columbia?
There's nothing worth crapping on.
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Orange Blooded [3290]
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Re: Time for us old alumni to post our favorite gamecock joke.
Nov 22, 2022, 12:58 PM
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Howard is also quoted with: The only good thing coming out of Columbia is I-26 (probably Hwy 76 then)!
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Oculus Spirit [80413]
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Re: Time for us old alumni to post our favorite gamecock joke.
Nov 21, 2022, 9:29 AM
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What do Gamecock fans do after they win an SEC championship?
• They turn off the PlayStation.
Why do South Carolina football players like smart women?
• Opposites attract.
A Clemson grad and a Gamecock both jump off a cliff at the same time. Who lands first?
• The Clemson grad because the Gamecock would have to stop to ask for directions.
Did you hear about the USC grad that got fired from the M&M manufacturer?
• He kept throwing out all the ones with ‘W.’
How many USC fans does it take to change a light bulb?
• About 75,000. One to change the bulb and 74,999 to stand around and talk about how great the old one used to be.
What does the average University of South Carolina student get on his SAT?
• Drool.
How do you keep South Carolina Gamecocks out of your yard?
• Put up goal posts
How do Gamecocks brain cells die?
• Alone
What does a South Carolina native and a bottle of beer have in common?
• They’re both empty from the neck up
What do you call a South Carolina football player with a championship ring?
• A thief
What does a Gamecock grad call a Clemson Tiger grad in 5 years?
• Boss
Why do Carolina Gamecocks football players use body heat activated deodorant?
• Because it’s the closest they will come to getting a “Degree”
Why do the South Carolina Gamecocks eat cereal straight from the box?
• They choke whenever they get near a bowl.
What’s the difference between a South Carolina fan and a carp?
• One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?
• On the University of South Carolina campus. That’s the last place you would find a football player.
Did you hear about the University of South Carolina fan who locked his keys in his car?
• He couldn’t get his family out.
What do you call a good looking girl on the University of South Carolina campus?
• A visitor.
Did you hear about the fire in the University of South Carolina’s football dorm that destroyed 20 books?
• The real tragedy was that 15 hadn’t been colored yet.
Do you know why the University of South Carolina football team should change its name to the “Opossums”?
• Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.
How do you make University of South Carolina cookies?
• Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.
What do you get when you cross University of South Carolina fan and a pig?
• Nothing. There’s some things that a pig will not do.
How many University of South Carolina freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
• None, it’s a sophomore course.
Q. What did the South Carolina graduate say to the Clemson graduate?
A. “Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order, please?”
A South Carolina Gamecocks fan walks into a doctor’s office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor asks, “How can I help you?” The frog replies, “I was wondering if you could help me get this wart off my butt.”
Two University of South Carolina fans were walking down the street when they came upon a dog lying on the sidewalk licking and cleaning his groin like dogs do.
The first South Carolina fan says to the second, “Boy, I wish I could do that.”
The second South Carolina fan replies, “Yeah, me too. But I wouldn’t try it.”
The first South Carolina fan asks, “Why not?”
The second South Carolina fan replies, “Because I’m afraid the dog might bite me.”
A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, “Wanna hear a good South Carolina joke?”
The guy next to him replies, “Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I’m 6′ tall, 200 lbs., and I am a South Carolina grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6′ 2″ tall, weighs 225, and he’s a South Carolina grad. And the fella next to him is 6′ 5″ tall, weighs 250, and he’s a South Carolina grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?”
The first guy says, “No, not if I’m gonna have to explain it three times.”
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Rock Defender [72]
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Re: Time for us old alumni to post our favorite gamecock joke.
Nov 21, 2022, 9:50 AM
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There are no gamecock jokes.
Only true stories.
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Orange Blooded [4059]
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Gamecock Football - Anyone can have a bad century
Nov 21, 2022, 9:52 AM
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Loved that bumper sticker
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All-In [30838]
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SCOREBOARD***
Nov 21, 2022, 10:27 AM
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MVP [541]
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What do you get when you cross a gamecock coed and a pig?
Nov 21, 2022, 11:15 AM
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Nothing…..there are some things a pig wont do.
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All-In [27192]
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Re: How do you make a gamecock omelette?
Nov 21, 2022, 11:24 AM
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Put them in a bowl and beat them for 3 hours.
What does the average gamecock student get on their SAT score? Drool.
What do you call a good looking coed on the gamecock campus? A visitor.
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110%er [5466]
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Todd Ellis
Nov 21, 2022, 12:35 PM
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1st Rounder [628]
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Re: Time for us old alumni to post our favorite gamecock joke.
Nov 21, 2022, 1:33 PM
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A salesman riding thru the country sees a tv antenna on an outhouse (this is an old one). Curiosity gets the better of him so he stops to ask the farmer at the house what’s up. Farmer relates that housing was tight in the area and since he had just installed indoor plumbing, he had been able to rent the outhouse to a recent Clemson graduate.
A couple weeks later the salesman was through the area again and noticed there was a second tv antenna on the outhouse roof. Now his curiosity was really peaked so he stopped in to see the farmer again and ask what that was all about.
“Well”, the farmer said, “That Clemson fellow sub-leased the basement to a Scuth Carolina law student.”
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Freshman [-99]
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Not exactly a joke, but still great nonetheless!
Nov 21, 2022, 1:51 PM
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There used to be bumper stickers back in the 1970s that stated:
“Will Rogers never met a gamecock!”
For you younger folks if you don’t know who Will Rogers is look him up.
He once famously said he never met a man he didn’t like!
So the bumper sticker was a retort to that, he never met a gamecock!
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Oculus Spirit [93674]
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What are the qualification needed to enroll in Scar?
Nov 21, 2022, 3:53 PM
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You must pass the sandbox test. If you pour sand in one ear and it comes out the other you qualify.
It's a joke, no offense to my lawyer or doctor intended.
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CU Guru [1315]
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Re: Time for us old alumni to post our favorite gamecock joke.
Nov 22, 2022, 11:46 AM
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A tornado hit the USuck campus. It did $4 million worth of improvements!!
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Legend [16262]
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Re: Time for us old alumni to post our favorite gamecock joke.
Nov 22, 2022, 11:57 AM
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How do you keep a Gamecock fan from jerking off?
Paint their ###### orange and they won't beat it but once every five years.
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Head Coach [768]
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Re: Time for us old alumni to post our favorite gamecock joke.
Nov 22, 2022, 1:03 PM
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What does the UosSC graduate student say to the CCC graduate, `you want fries with that?`
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Athletic Dir [867]
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Re: Time for us old alumni to post our favorite gamecock joke.
Nov 22, 2022, 1:27 PM
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There is one thing that Clemson and University of South Carolina students have in common………..
They both applied to Clemson.
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Hall of Famer [22335]
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All joking aside, I think Read With The Gamecocks is a really
Nov 22, 2022, 2:39 PM
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good program. USC football players visit elementary schools in the Columbia area to improve literacy. Kudos to those young kids for taking the time to help the Gamecock players with their reading skills.
https://thegamecockclub.com/read-with-the-gamecocks/
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Orange Blooded [4789]
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Re: Time for us old alumni to post our favorite gamecock joke.
Nov 23, 2022, 11:05 PM
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Q: How do you get a Coot girl out of your dorm room?
A: Grease her hips and push real hard.
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All-TigerNet [10906]
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What's the difference between a coot coed & a brick?
Nov 23, 2022, 11:25 PM
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A brick won't follow you around for two weeks, after getting laid!
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Team Captain [492]
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Re: Time for us old alumni to post our favorite gamecock joke.
Nov 23, 2022, 11:16 PM
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Not really a joke but one of my favorite bumper stickers from the 80's
USC University of Stupid Chickens
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110%er [9903]
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Re: Time for us old alumni to post our favorite gamecock joke.
Nov 23, 2022, 11:33 PM
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Hall of Famer [22811]
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Re: Time for us old alumni to post our favorite gamecock joke.
Nov 23, 2022, 11:41 PM
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