"How to Impress a Gamecock Woman" was written during the euphoria of Spurrier's arrival in Columbia. The Chickens have had a good run under OBC, but we've now come full circle!
HOW TO IMPRESS A GAMECOCK WOMAN
--Wear a fishing hat with the lid cut out...she'll think you're fashionable.
--Wear those new spur bracelets...she'll think you're trendy.
--Wear a shirt that reads, "You Can't Beat Our #####"...she'll think you're sexy.
--Feed her a tailgate supper out of the trunk of your car amidst old warehouses and weed-infested lots...she'll think you're romantic.
--Tell her this is the dawn of a new era...she'll think you have a sense of humor.
--Explain how Steve Spurrier is the Second Coming...she'll think you're a man of faith.
--Tell her this is the year USC whips Clemson in football...she'll think you're a dreamer.
--Yell vulgarities and make obscene gestures at the other team from the safety of your seats...she'll think you're brave.
--Scream at the officials about how unfair they are to the Gamecocks...she'll think you are seeking justice.
--Weep as USC falls farther and farther behind...she'll think you're sensitive.
--And after you've done all you can to impress her, pop the big question: "You wanna leave at halftime?"...she thought you'd never ask.