Fordtunate Son®

All-In [29910]

TigerPulse: 100%

Posts: 8856

Joined: 10/31/10

Religious Pron -- The Epic of Gilgamesh, Part 1

Dec 5, 2023, 11:35 AM

Everyone loves a hero.

And you’ve probably heard about this famous hero, the King of Uruk, Gilgamesh. (And his pet lion.)

We’ve had some pretty engaging discussions on sin, salvation, death, and the meaning of life, and afterlife, on the R&Ph board lately.

And while heart-throb crooner Tom Jones tells us every day is Christmas in Heaven, not everyone in the ancient world was as excited about their own version of the afterlife. (Watch the hands, Tom.)

Screenshot-222

For Mesopotamians, life and death both sucked. You lived to serve the gods, and then you died. No matter how good or bad your life was, you got nothing but a dark, eternal underworld. As the saying goes “All Mesopotamians go to he77.”

With an outlook that grim a lot of people sought relief. And since there was no relief even in the afterlife, people searched for an avenue to immortality in the here and now, instead.

50077h

The hero King Gilgamesh was one of those searchers. And so, from 2100 BCE Uruk, and the very the cradle of writing itself,

I proudly present!

And the Search for Immortality!

TABLET 1

“You Sumerians think you know Gilgamesh? Let me educate you about Gilgamesh. It’s all right here, chiseled in sto--- Eh, clay.”

“How great was Gilgamesh? Well, he knew everything that happened before the Great Flood, and he carved it all on the massive city walls of Uruk. Which he also built single-handedly, btw.”

“Gilgamesh was the greatest king that ever lived. Check out the foundations of these walls. Solid brick.”

He didn’t even and use sand infill. What king doesn’t use sand infill in his walls?

And he served the gods well. Yada, yada, yada...

That’s it, kid. Show’s over. Now scram.

Oh. You want to know the REAL story of Gilgamesh? The story of the man, and not the legend? Hmm. Well, I tell you what I’ll do. For a quarter, I’ll give you the inside scoop. But don’t tell your parents I told you this.

“Go to the Temple of Ishtar, find the copper box, open the bronze lock, and undo the secret fastening. Then read the lapis lazuli tablets.” That’ll tell you the REAL story of Gilgamesh. Now GTFO of here.

“Gilgamesh is the hero of Uruk; the great, goring wild bull.”

“He is the offspring of Lugalbanda; He is strong to perfection.”

“He’s the son of the great cow. He’s awesome to perfection.”

“Who can compare with Gilgamesh? He’s two-thirds god and one-third human. The Great Goddess Aruru designed the perfect model for his body; a beautiful, handsome man…perfect.”

“But Gilgamesh was a bit of a di ck…kinda hot-headed, kinda demanding, kinda hard on his own people.”

nicksaban

“Gilgamesh does not leave a son to his father, [he sends them off to war.]

And Gilgamesh does not leave a girl to her mother.” [he takes them to his bedchamber.]

And so the people of Uruk became upset with Gilgamesh.

“The gods heard the people’s complaints, and the god Anu said:” “Hey goddess Aruru, you made [this monster] that rules my people…now make something to control him.

“Let your creation be equal to Gilgamesh’s stormy heart, and let them be a match for each other so that the tortured city of Uruk may find some peace!”

“The Goddess Aruru washed her hands, and she pinched off some clay, (because all men are made of earth) and threw it into the wilderness. And in the wildness she created valiant Enkidu. His whole body was shaggy with hair, he had a full head of hair like a woman; his locks billowed.”

He knew neither people nor settled living, and he ate grass with the gazelles.”

“He knelt at the watering hole with the foxes; and his thirst was quenched with just water.” [He had no beer.]

One day, a young trapper stumbled on this wild man. The trapper told his dad, “Father, a wild man has come from the mountains. I was afraid, so I did not go up to him.”

“The wild man filled in the [hunting] pits that I had dug and released the wild animals [ I trapped.] He patrols and does not let me make my rounds in the wilderness!”

The hunter’s dad said:
“Go to Uruk and tell King Gilgamesh of this man. Gilgamesh will give you the harlot Shamhat.

“The woman will overcome the wild man [using her own methods.] When the animals are drinking at the watering place, have her take off her robe and expose her p****.”

[When the wild man Enkidu] sees her, he will draw near to her, and abandon his animal friends.

So, the trapper went, bringing the harlot with him [to the watering hole.] Eventually, Enkidu came to get a drink, and saw Shamhat.”

The-Apology-e1497489274198

The hunter said: There he is, prostitute Shamhat! Expose your p***** so he can take in your voluptuousness.”

“Do not be restrained, Shamhat–take his energy!”

“When he sees you he will draw near to you.

Spread out your robe so he can lie upon you and perform for him the task of womankind!”

His lust will groan over you like the animals do.”

“Shamhat unclutched her bosom and exposed her p*****, and Enkidu took in her voluptuousness.

She was not restrained, and she took his energy.”

“For six days and seven nights Enkidu stayed aroused, until he was sated with her charms.”

“But when Enkidu turned his attention back to his animal friends, they darted off. Enkidu had changed. His knees wanted to run but they were weak; they were not as they were before.”

“The harlot said to Enkidu: “You are beautiful,” Enkidu, you are like a god. Why do you hang out around this watering hole and run around with the wild beasts? Wouldn’t you rather be with me?

Let me bring you to Uruk, to the place of Gilgamesh, who struts his power over the people like a wild bull. Please?”

“Enkidu said “I will challenge Gilgamesh …my strength is mightiest!”

Shamhat replied: “I will take you to Uruk, where the people show off in skirted finery. Where every day is some festival. Where the lyre and drum play continually. And where harlots stand about prettily, exuding voluptuousness, full of laughter, waiting each night for the sheets to be spread.”

Enkidu said:

“Enkidu, Gilgamesh is a handsome youth. His entire body exudes voluptuousness. He has mightier strength than you, and your arrogant thoughts must change! It is Gilgamesh who I love, and even before you came from the mountain Gilgamesh had dreams about you coming.”

Shamhat said: “A huge rock from the gods burned and crashed from the sky. His mother told him it meant a rival is coming. Then Gilgamesh dreamt that a giant axe was by his bed. His mother told him that also meant a challenger is coming.”

“After the harlot recounted the dreams of Gilgamesh to Enkidu, the two of them made love. (And who wouldn’t?)

The prostitute Shamhat took Enkidu to Uruk and said “Eat the food, Enkidu, it is the way one lives.
Drink the beer, it is the custom of the land.” Enkidu ate the food until he was sated.

He drank the beer-seven jugs!– and became expansive and sang with joy! Enkidu was elated and his face glowed.

Enkidu splashed his shaggy body with water, he rubbed himself with oil, and he turned into a human.

He was twice as tall as normal men.”

“Meanwhile, Gilgamesh, the King of Uruk, was about to have intercourse with one of his ‘destined wives.’ Gilgamesh always went first, then the husband afterward. This was ordered by the gods.”

Aka, cucked

But Enkidu blocked the entry to the marital chamber, and would not allow the bride to be brought in to Gilgamesh.

Enkidu and Gilgamesh grappled with each other at the entry to the marital chamber.

In the street they attacked each other, then in the public square.

The doorposts trembled and the walls shook.…

In the end, Gilgamesh won. But Gilgamesh gained deep respect for Enkidu, and so they kissed each other and became friends.

But they were each exhausted from the fight, and from their wounds they learned their limitations, and contemplated their mortality.

So they asked each other: “Who, my Friend, can ascend to the heavens?” Only the gods can dwell there. As for us, our days are numbered. Whatever we try to achieve is but wind! What good is all our strength, when death awaits?

Buzzkill, man.

Then Gilgamesh said No! I will establish fame for eternity! ETERNITY! Come, my friend, to cast weapons! And holding each other by the hand, they went to the forge.

And just like that, the first buddy story in history begins. But that’s where we’ll have to end for now. What adventures await our heroes? Will manly love blossom? Will mankind gain immortality? We’ll have to wait till the next post to find out!

Till then, hot chicks.

flag link

military_tech

thumb_down

thumb_up

Thanks for the compliment, 88! I like to consider it...

On the serious side though, beneath the jokes and ladies, there are some interesting differences between cultures that show up in the text of the story.

For instance, you'll note that reproduction is referred to as the "task of womanhood." Mesos saw almost everything as having a purpose, and a hierarchy, in how they served the Gods. That's why garden hoes aren't just another useful farm implement, they are "superior" to plows. It's just a different way of looking at the world than we do, really.

Similarly, to us, fish and birds are both ecologically important. But to Mesos, birds are MORE important than fish. I'm not exactly sure why that is, but they clearly see birds as more important and wrote a debate poem about it. So it gives us insight to their view of the world. Very structured, very judgmental...this is better than that, etc.

In the case of women and men, in Genesis God simply says "Hey you guys, Adam and Eve, go out and do your thing and multiply. It's a command, but there is a casualness to it. To Mesos, it's woman's 'task' to multiply. Her very reason for existence. A slightly different way of looking at reproduction.

In terms of similarities, notice in the Epic of Gilgamesh that the Gods cannot control Gilgamesh's temper. No more than Yahweh can control Adam's Free Will. So the Meso god has to send another creature to control Gilgamesh, the wild man Enkidu. And Yahweh just grumbles and gets angry that the Hebrews won't obey.

And it's also very noteworthy that it is women who "civilize" men in Meso tradition, while in the Hebrew tradition, men and women work together. Adam is never portrayed as "wild." Gilgamesh has to send Shahmat to bring this hairy ape from the wilderness to the city, and clean him up, which she does.

And note that just like King Solomon, Gilgamesh, as king, gets his pick of any woman he wants. Even before she is wed. Solomon wed 300 of them, but still kept 700 concubines. Gilgamesh takes them all, then hands them out to be married after he's done.

Just some very interesting similarities and differences between the two cultures. I'll post some comparative stuff later on, once we get through the whole story.

Religious Pron -- The Epic of Gilgamesh, Part 1

Super entertaining...

Re: Super entertaining...

Re: Religious Pron -- The Epic of Gilgamesh, Part 1

Re: Religious Pron -- The Epic of Gilgamesh, Part 1

Re: Religious Pron -- The Epic of Gilgamesh, Part 1

TigerBoard POTD