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All-In [49060]
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So how much hell to raise?
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Aug 16, 2023, 4:52 PM
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Daughter of started kindergarten last week. She's 4 but will be 5 right before the cut-off. She's only been in places where she had to be walked to and from her classroom before now, so I've been walking her into the class, then to the door, then to the exterior door, with the goal being eventually she walks all the way in by herself from the sidewalk. We chose the public school in our neighborhood because I can walk her to school in the mornings and my wife can walk her home in the afternoons.
So, yesterday, my wife is 3 minutes late (12 minutes early based on the times the kids were actually getting to the transfer point every other day since day 1, but 3 minutes late by the "rule.") The transfer point is a sidewalk that exits a middling busy street. The teacher person walks all the "walkers" to that point and then releases them to their parents. Well, when my wife turns the corner coming out of the shortcut between our neighborhood and the school. She sees the teacher who escorts the walkers walking back to the school alone.
She gets worried and starts walking faster. She sees our daughter walking across the bus entrance/exit with two other girls. She takes off running and when she turns the corner our daughter is on the verge of getting into the car with these other girls. Now, the mom is someone my wife has talked to while waiting before, so probably she just tells our daughter to wait for her mom. But...
This morning, I'm walking her up to the door where she goes into the building and the principal stops me to tell me I have to let her walk herself from the awning covering the car rider drop off because it's a safety issue.
So I walk her the rest of the way and come back to the principal and say, Yes, I wanted to talk to you about a safety issue as well. I tell the story about the walkers. She says, "Well, we start dismissal from the classroom at 2:30 and we walk them down there and our policy is to drop them off at the street and if you aren't here by 2:30 on the nose, they will leave them out there." I point out they haven't been down there till 2:45 any other day this week. She says, "well, the first few days things aren't going to be smooth." I ask how they managed to corral 10 kids from different classrooms, get them organized with their stuff, get them out of the building and all the way down to the street by 2:31, which is probably still not enough time for her to have walked as far as she did up the roadway before my wife caught up to her. She hems and haws and gets super defensive.
Couple of other facts. All but maybe 6 of the kids who are "walkers" are really "car riders" whose parents don't want to wait in the long ### car rider line, so they park where the walkers are let out. I imagine if this wasn't the case, they would let the walkers wait pretty much at the exact same place where I supposedly have to let my daughter walk in by herself.
So, what do?
Call my buddy on the school board and see about getting the principal yelled at/fired? Burn her house down? Section 1983 lawsuit? Go to PTA meetings and use my excellent oratory skills to bring everyone around to my point of view?
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Hall of Famer [22948]
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Re: So how much hell to raise?
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Aug 16, 2023, 5:22 PM
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Step 1: Be on time. If kids aren't ready yet, use this time to socialize with other parents.
Step 2: Be a parent who supports the school's decisions
Step 3: Realize you have a penor, and let your wife worry/karen about these things
Step 4: Teach kid not to get in car with strangers
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All-In [49060]
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Do you talk to people like this all the time?
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Aug 16, 2023, 6:16 PM
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How many fights do you get in?
Only late once. By three minutes.
No. I’m not supporting idiocy that is to help other parents who are gaming the system. By the way, today the lady with the “walkers” told them after my wife got our daughter, that she can’t let anyone go until she sees them “get in their parents car.”
#### you.
We do, but she’s four and I’m trying to keep her from growing up into a bitter ######## like you.
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All-In [34486]
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Re: Do you talk to people like this all the time?
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Aug 16, 2023, 6:28 PM
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Heisman Winner [105622]
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Lot o points [155978]
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In a 2 parent household, there is some accuracy.
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Aug 17, 2023, 8:34 AM
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In effective school communication, the Dad is usually the good cop. Ford’s already established the bad cop role the first week of school. He has no cards left up his sleeve to play.
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Heisman Winner [105622]
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It was more of the "Let your wife worry about these things"
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Aug 17, 2023, 8:37 AM
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part as if he shouldn't worry about his kids' safety. He has a valid concern, they left a 4 year old on the side of the road. Every parent should have some concern with that.
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Lot o points [155978]
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It doesn’t sound perfect
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Aug 17, 2023, 8:41 AM
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But I don’t know what the friendly mom told the teacher in charge. Maybe she said she was a family friend and would take her, and the teacher did a quick assessment of the situation and decided a blazing hot cougar in a G-wagon wasn’t likely a kidnapper. It sounds like an oops like we used to figure out and move on from rather than trying to get someone fired.
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All-In [27152]
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Ford knows KMS?***
Aug 17, 2023, 9:37 AM
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All-In [49060]
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It wasn't that...
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Aug 17, 2023, 9:47 AM
[ in reply to It doesn’t sound perfect ] |
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she left the 4 year old at the street knowing her mother wasn't there yet. My wife has chatted with the other lady, who is not a blazing hot mom in a g-wagen, but they certainly don't know each other's numbers or where each other lives. And my child walked about 100 yards with the two little girls from where the teacher left her standing on the side of the road.
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All-In [27152]
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As a father of an almost four-year-old.
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Aug 17, 2023, 9:52 AM
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I want to pat you on the back and let you know your rage is fully justified.
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Oculus Spirit [79429]
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Yeah, my son turns 4 in September. I probably wouldn't
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Aug 17, 2023, 10:59 AM
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have handled that very nicely. I would have exactly zero trust in that teacher/school looking out for the well being of my child after that.
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All-In [27152]
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MINE TOO!
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Aug 17, 2023, 11:04 AM
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Wait. Are we both the daddy?
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Oculus Spirit [79429]
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Unless you're my twin brother I never knew I had I doubt it
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Aug 17, 2023, 11:07 AM
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My wife and I have basically cloned ourselves with our son and daughter. I'm not even saving up for college, I'm saving up for lawyers.
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Lot o points [155978]
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Ok, then yeah, that's not cool.
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Aug 17, 2023, 10:37 AM
[ in reply to It wasn't that... ] |
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Sounds like a lousy policy. I still highly recommend Dad good cop/mom bad cop. It's a solid strategy given that most women are inclined to dislike other women, and your wife is going to get judged the same for complaining whether she's coming in hot or super sweet.
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All-In [49060]
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Yep...
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Aug 17, 2023, 10:49 AM
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the policy should be to take them to the awning where I'm supposed to leave her to walk in by herself. Then she's clearly in view of 20 teachers directing traffic, all the bus drivers, and whoever is putting the bus riders on the busses. And someone can grab her and bring her back inside if no one shows up to get her, same as happens with car riders. I guarantee the reason they don't do this is because of all the car rider walkers whose parents raised hell at having to walk up from the no parking zone since it probably cuts into the time they are saving themselves gaming the system.
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All-In [27152]
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This is accurate for us.
Aug 17, 2023, 9:39 AM
[ in reply to In a 2 parent household, there is some accuracy. ] |
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My wife is the attack dog when it comes to adversarial communications, and I'm the peacemaker. Back when we were renting I had to ban her from the front office because if they saw her coming they were calling the cops. It's always a justifiable rage, and she comes by it honestly from her mom, but sometimes it is not the most effective communication strategy.
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All-In [49060]
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All-In [49060]
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One other thing...
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Aug 17, 2023, 9:54 AM
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I spend a significant amount of time arguing with people during my daily life in a polite, non-condescending manner because making people defensive doesn't serve my professional purposes. The principal told me that I could take her to the door that day which I did. When I got back I asked her politely about the policy and exact pick up time when I told her about the 4 year old being left by the side of the road.
What I learned is that she goes right into defensive mode when asked a question about school policy.
However, I don't think it's an accident that the teacher walking the walkers to their cars (this is actually the part that grinds my gears is that apparently 90% of the walkers aren't actually walking they are just avoiding the car rider line) told them loudly in front of my wife that she isn't allowed to leave them until they are in their parents car on the same day I confronted the principal.
And this morning I walked her as far as I needed to catch the principal's eye and smiled and waved and sent her straight to the principal to let her walk her in.
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Oculus Spirit [79429]
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Next time you see her, call her over and in a hushed tone
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Aug 17, 2023, 11:06 AM
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tell her "You know that I know, right?" then walk away. Leave that bisch sweating, no telling what the fall out could be.
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Hall of Famer [21940]
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pro tip
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Aug 17, 2023, 2:11 PM
[ in reply to One other thing... ] |
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different industries, by far, but similar tactics from a strategical negotiation perspective.
you may think you're being polite, receptive, nice, all that ########....but to teachers, principals, people like FBCoachSC®, you're absolutely not lol.
if you operate in a fast pace professional environment like a high profile law office, or you're negotiating multimillion dollar deals on a regular basis, or you're managing a consulting team, or you're managing a multimillion dollar org, your frame of reference is not in alignment with who you're talking to.
gotta know your personnel when you let go of the football. you may be used to slinging it to Mike Williams, but he's hurt and we got Deondre Overton in the 9 spot. that catch window is much smaller, so sometimes just throw it away if he's covered.
this may sound very condescending, as it is, but my wife has reminded me of this numerous times in dealing with our daughters' daycare people, nurses, etc.
could also just be that I'm a neurotic ####### ####### and have personal problems (also true).....but sounds like you're in the boat w/ me homie.
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All-In [49060]
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Most of my depositions are blue collar folks and ALL of
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Aug 17, 2023, 2:19 PM
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my clients are blue collar folks with a few exceptions. I do deal with lawyers and doctors as well, but I get to talk to people across the board. I THINK I'm okay at it. I do emphasize think though, since everyone is the hero in their own story.
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All-In [46825]
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You're dealing with a profession that has a lot of women in
Aug 17, 2023, 2:52 PM
[ in reply to pro tip ] |
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it. Especially the men.
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All-In [43778]
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Ground your helicopter and follow the rules.
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Aug 16, 2023, 6:22 PM
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Your daughter will figure the rest out.
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All-In [49060]
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Let’s play this out…
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Aug 16, 2023, 6:33 PM
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We’re talking 4 years old. Let’s say my wife has something happen and doesn’t show to pick the kid up at all. She’s left on her own by the side of the road. I probably don’t even find out about it til my son calls from high school to say mom never picked him up. My four year old has been in the wind for three hours at this point? Car riders get held if their parents don’t show. Walkers get released into the wild on their own?
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110%er [7004]
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Re: Let’s play this out…
Aug 16, 2023, 10:29 PM
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Could you teach her to walk all the way home or go back inside/to a safe place if your wife isnt there?
I get your frustration. Anything with kids and safety is going to be emotional.
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All-In [49060]
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Personally, I think she knows the way...
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Aug 17, 2023, 10:02 AM
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but she's at an age where she's going to stop and pet every dog she sees, smell every flower, talk to every person and probably stop off at the neighbors house for a beer.
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All-In [43778]
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They aren’t gonna just leave ‘em in the wild
Aug 17, 2023, 1:09 AM
[ in reply to Let’s play this out… ] |
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99.99999999% that aint happening.
Billions of peeps have made it through this stage.
Everyting is ok mon!
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All-In [49060]
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You missed the part where they just did that?
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Aug 17, 2023, 6:08 AM
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Left a 4 year old on the side of a busy street?
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All-In [43778]
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I guess so.
Aug 17, 2023, 8:25 AM
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That really makes me think your wife should get there on time.
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All-TigerNet [13360]
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Publik skewl gonna publq skule
Aug 16, 2023, 6:42 PM
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They don’t care.
Their union has negotiated that they can leave your kids anywhere they want!
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Heisman Winner [136041]
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All-In [40941]
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Sue
Aug 16, 2023, 6:51 PM
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it's the American way and an easy way to make some cash.
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All-In [34601]
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What would Scott Hansen do?***
Aug 16, 2023, 7:45 PM
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Oculus Spirit [81078]
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Isn't he a football announcer?
Aug 17, 2023, 9:34 AM
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Why would he care?
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CU Medallion [66085]
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JFC, Ford
Aug 16, 2023, 11:24 PM
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You have a four year old at your age ? Prey oars scent
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Lot o points [155978]
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That’s the tradeoff for
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Aug 17, 2023, 8:31 AM
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Banging a 24 year old supermodel permanently.
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All-In [47750]
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He slipped one past the goalie, apparently***
Aug 17, 2023, 9:17 AM
[ in reply to JFC, Ford ] |
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All-In [49060]
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Ironically, that is what happened...
Aug 17, 2023, 9:56 AM
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freaked me the eff out. Then my wife had a miscarriage, and we both realized we had been looking forward to raising a child together. So we had her on purpose.
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Oculus Spirit [93691]
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Re: So how much hell to raise?
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Aug 17, 2023, 7:04 AM
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Buy an old rusty pickup truck which belches smoke and backfires irregularly, black out a couple teeth and get a gun rack fully stocked with a 12 ga, two hunting rifles and be first in line at the pickup point ever day.
Whistle at the women and give the men a dead cold stare. If anyone touches your child flip open the door, step to toward them and give them the evil eye.
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All-In [40353]
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While I have no reason to not believe you
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Aug 17, 2023, 7:13 AM
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I can't imagine that a school would just release kids in the wild
I think a more formal meeting discussion with teacher and principal would suffice
Maybe even recruit some of the other walker parents as well to show you aren't a one off Karen about this subject
No reason to burn her house down...yet
*I also despise the people that manipulate these situations to avoid waiting in line, etc. It sounds like a very Mt Pleasant thing to do, can't be late to drop the kids with the nanny and head to wine lunch with the girls
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All-In [40941]
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When my kids were that age I almost always parked
Aug 17, 2023, 7:16 AM
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and walked up to get my kids. That at least gave me some interaction with the teachers and I could ask a quick question or they could too. I did that all the way to middle school.
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All-In [49060]
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Parking and walking up is different than
Aug 17, 2023, 9:57 AM
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sitting in your car at the walker sidewalk waiting for them to bring your "walker" to the car so you can car ride them home.
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Oculus Spirit [81078]
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All-In [42197]
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Simple
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Aug 17, 2023, 8:19 AM
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Buy golf cart. Teach daughter to drive it to school. #### the law. They need to learn early.
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All-In [27152]
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A chicken in every pot.
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Aug 17, 2023, 8:30 AM
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A golf cart next to every garage bar.
You live in a beautiful world, my friend.
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Lot o points [155978]
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He can’t buy a custom golf cart.
Aug 17, 2023, 8:36 AM
[ in reply to Simple ] |
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He doesn’t listen to Jason Aldean and play in a pickleball league.
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All-In [42197]
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Re: He can’t buy a custom golf cart.
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Aug 17, 2023, 12:12 PM
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He doesn’t listen to Jason Aldean...
You take that back right now.
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Oculus Spirit [75725]
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I think I'd make some suggested changes, first being that
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Aug 17, 2023, 9:15 AM
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the teacher needs to be out there until all of these little kids are in the proper car. I'd also very kindly let people know that you know people. If no improvement, then burn them down.
It sure seems like, form a total outsider, that school pick up is overly complicated.
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Lot o points [155978]
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Step 1 would seem to be getting a handle
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Aug 17, 2023, 9:43 AM
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On these narcissistic system-beaters who are gumming up the works by making their car riding kids pretend they are walkers.
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Orange Blooded [4701]
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Those people and also the parents who can't follow the
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Aug 17, 2023, 9:46 AM
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car line rules like NOT GETTING OUT OF THE CAR to put your kid in are the worst.
We had one dad who for years would get out of the car and walk all the way around and back to put his kid in the seat behind the driver. The whole 10 minute ordeal could have been avoided if he just rearranged the carseats in his car so that the elementary kid was behind the passenger seat.
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Oculus Spirit [79429]
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Shid, like your parents didn't make you walk across the
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Aug 17, 2023, 11:02 AM
[ in reply to Step 1 would seem to be getting a handle ] |
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street to Tanners Big Orange as opposed to waiting in the pick up line.
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Lot o points [155978]
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Of course they did, but on the upside, I became really
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Aug 17, 2023, 11:04 AM
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excellent at self-defense.
They didn't call me a "walker" though.
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All-In [42197]
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Re: I think I'd make some suggested changes, first being that
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Aug 17, 2023, 12:13 PM
[ in reply to I think I'd make some suggested changes, first being that ] |
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I think I'd make some suggested changes, first being that the teacher needs to be out there until all of these little kids are in the proper car.
And when inconsiderate parents don't show up until an hour after dismissal because they know they have a free babysitter for a while?
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Lot o points [155978]
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Yup, cause that's 100% a thing.***
Aug 17, 2023, 12:17 PM
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All-In [42197]
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Re: Yup, cause that's 100% a thing.***
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Aug 17, 2023, 12:22 PM
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Shoot, my mom would leave my sister and me hanging a good hour after elementary school sometimes, no adult supervision. Nobody took us, though, cause who the hell would want us little #####.
Come to think of it, sometimes other moms in the carpool would too. It's like our carpool moms collectively said, #### em, they'll be fine. 1980s life.
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Lot o points [155978]
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That's where private schools have the upper hand.
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Aug 17, 2023, 12:24 PM
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Late to pick up? No prob. We're tacking on $50 to your tuition for every 15 minutes you're late after a 10 minute grace period.
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Oculus Spirit [75725]
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Orange Blooded [4701]
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Well, you have a two fold problem
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Aug 17, 2023, 9:44 AM
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I do think that's a serious security issue that needs to be addressed. I haven't heard of any kids in our school district, particularly a kindergartener being released to the wild. What if one parent didn't have custody and they just left a child out there to get snatched up. Our school uses drive line, so you have to give the person on duty a code and then they send the kids out.
I would give the principal another shot to rectify the situation, but this time I'd send an email. If she takes the same tone in the email, you can escalate the situation.
That said, when my daughter was in kindergarten I spent a year of being there 10 minutes early to make sure I was always there when she got out. I also highly recommend kissing the ### of every teach there. Buy up their wish list, always give them nice gifts and offer help. I'm at the point in my elementary career where the teachers would do anything for us including covering my ### if I'm running 10 minutes late.
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Lot o points [155978]
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LOL, 10 minutes before pickup time?
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Aug 17, 2023, 10:51 AM
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Based on the times I had to pick one of my kids up from elementary school or middle school, there would be the same 10 cars at the front of the pickup line every day, and I swear they must have pulled up and parked about 3 hours after school started.
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Orange Blooded [4701]
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Yeah but we are talking walkups not car lines
Aug 17, 2023, 2:10 PM
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car lines are a whole different animal. When I was a stay at home mom with younger ones I'd be there like 30-45 min before school got out to be near the front... it also worked out this was a convenient way for my toddler to nap without interruption.
Now I just pay someone to be the first in line.
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CU Medallion [64837]
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"Sounds terrible. Want to make sure I never send my kids to
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Aug 17, 2023, 9:56 AM
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that school. What school is this? Also, what time is dismissal?" - CS02
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CU Medallion [56106]
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I just can't believe a school would say, "It's 2:31.
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Aug 17, 2023, 9:58 AM
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I'm leaving this 4-year-old on the side of the road."
My wife teaches middle school and she doesn't leave until all the kids are picked up or otherwise have arrangements.
Meanwhile, it's 4:59 and I'm like
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoP0Z3a8glU
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All-In [49060]
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I couldn't believe it either...
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Aug 17, 2023, 9:59 AM
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thus my outrage.
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All-In [31908]
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If I follow your story correctly...
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Aug 17, 2023, 11:22 AM
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the teacher left your 4 year old daughter somewhere because your wife was late.
Can't be allowed. Teacher wouldn't/shouldn't even leave a 4 yo alone inside the school, much less at a w drop-off point for parent pick-up.
IMO, you aren't over-reacting and the school's policy/teacher action has to be corrected asap.
This is a no-brainer.
Acid test putting in my own context...I would never leave a 6th grader after basketball practice until their parent shows up...even if other coaches were still there.
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Lot o points [155978]
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I feel like we're focusing too much on hypothetical worst
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Aug 17, 2023, 11:26 AM
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case scenarios, and ignoring that this could have been a genius move, given that Mrs Prefect is pretty much guaranteed to be there at 2:15 every day now. I like to think that they had an undercover teacher or crossing guard in the trees keeping an eye on lil Fordette the whole time and this was just a cunning ruse to scare parents into never being late.
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All-In [31908]
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Sounds reasonable***
Aug 17, 2023, 12:41 PM
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All-In [49060]
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On that note...
Aug 17, 2023, 11:26 AM
[ in reply to If I follow your story correctly... ] |
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the second day of school, the classroom teacher asked if there were any problems with the pick up the day before. There hadn't been at that point. She said something about it making her incredibly nervous to send the little ones out of her care with some other teacher since they are so small and she had worried about it overnight.
So now looking back I wonder if she was trying to warn me.
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All-In [32656]
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NORTH TO DROP OFF, SOUTH TO PICK UP . . . . what are you,
Aug 17, 2023, 11:57 AM
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some kinda maroon ? ?
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All-In [42197]
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Serious answer
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Aug 17, 2023, 12:16 PM
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While it does seem like a pretty bad practice to turn little ones out into the wild the moment school dismisses, what's the cut-off time for monitoring the kids until they're picked up?
2:45? 3? 4?
Is the person watching them until 4 because certain Mamas know they don't have to worry about getting them until then getting paid extra for the time?
How late is the school supposed to watch the kids?
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All-In [49060]
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I imagine the school would see that car rider line...
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Aug 17, 2023, 12:31 PM
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is clearing out and if the little kid is still standing in the designated area on school grounds then they might take them in the office and call the parents on record and ask ### they are. Same as they do with car riders. Half my point is they shouldn't be taking kids off the campus and leaving them by a street where no school official can possibly see them.
And don't get me wrong. In first or second grade I might be fine with my daughter actually walking herself home. We live very close to the school. I can hear announcements while I let the dogs out to ####. But a four year old left off the campus on a busy street by herself where no school person can see her is unacceptable to me.
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All-In [42197]
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Re: I imagine the school would see that car rider line...
Aug 17, 2023, 1:40 PM
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Half my point is they shouldn't be taking kids off the campus and leaving them by a street where no school official can possibly see them.
Definitely agree with you there.
And don't get me wrong. In first or second grade I might be fine with my daughter actually walking herself home. We live very close to the school. I can hear announcements while I let the dogs out to ####. But a four year old left off the campus on a busy street by herself where no school person can see her is unacceptable to me.
Yeah, absolutely with that age and I get where you're coming from in this. I also see how schools have to draw a line somewhere (that's not me saying your kid's school is doing it right, though).
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Orange Blooded [4095]
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Re: Serious answer
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Aug 17, 2023, 12:55 PM
[ in reply to Serious answer ] |
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Sounds like you don't have kids or your wife raised them for you?
Because they should have taken the kid back into the school, called the parent with "where the #### are you?"
and then charged the parents for afterschool care the second time it happened.
Because that's what competent schools do...
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All-In [42197]
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Da fuq is your problem, you little ####?
Aug 17, 2023, 1:11 PM
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Sounds like you don't have kids or your wife raised them for you?
Da hell does me pointing out a valid problem with this situation have to do with my personal life?
Because they should have taken the kid back into the school, called the parent with "where the #### are you?"
and then charged the parents for afterschool care the second time it happened.
Yeah, genius? What if the parent doesn't answer? What if they don't give a ####? How is a public school going to charge a parent for that?
Because that's what competent schools do...
No, no public school on the planet can do that.
Holy ####, you took a real discussion and sprayed your imbecilic feces all over it. I'm pointing out that at some point, schools have to cut off the after school daycare, and there are several parents out there who wouldn't come get their kids right away because they're getting free daycare.
Jesus. What a moran.
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All-In [32656]
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So - you're saying you don't have kids.***
Aug 17, 2023, 1:36 PM
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All-In [42197]
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You know what?
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Aug 17, 2023, 1:55 PM
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No. I don't. I try to keep such personal details off here, but since so many people here make stupid statements like that, maybe I'll just be honest finally (aside from sharing this info with a few here over TMail because they've gone through the same thing).
It's not by choice. My wife and I have tried EVERYTHING. It's cost us a substantial amount of money and personal pain. Especially for her. I try to avoid getting into discussions here about kids or giving anyone here advice/criticism over raising them, but I'm sure I've slipped here and there.
Adoption is our next step and our only option.
In no way shape or form did my reply to Ford warrant such an imbecilic response from castaway, and it also doesn't require you to pry into that business, either. I was simply trying to posit another viewpoint on the problem, but I agreed with Ford on his views about the school just leaving a four year old on the side of the road.
I know this Tigernet community has its fair share of idiots and creeps and people with no sense of morality who will probably throw that in my face in the future, but I guess I'm used to that enough offline. Either way, the response was out of line, and yours is a little bit there, too.
So have at it.
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All-In [32656]
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I wasn't going to continue - I probably should have
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Aug 17, 2023, 2:15 PM
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stopped before posting my response to you.
First & foremost - love & prayers to you and your wife. I have no way to empathize or even remotely comprehend that reality. Just love & prayers for my Clemson Family that is having a tough go of it.
Yes - schools can charge for documented late pick-up. It has to have been a part of the paperwork filled out that discloses what the policy is. And then fees added - as with any other fee - when the kid isn't picked up.
If it gets too bad or consistent or extremely late - Child Services can be called in. Unless the parent is a complete deadbeat - there is NO WAY they would want a part of that.
Incredibly blessed with (2) 4 year olds, and if I had happen to me what Ford had happen to his family, I would have lost it. Right on the spot.
Yep - don't be late - no doubt. Stuff happens - but it goes both ways - schools have things that come up, employee issues, etc - and we as parents are expected to roll with it, by and large.
There should be a little leeway going the other way, too. Especially in the first week or so.
Again - nothing but good stuff for you & your wife. Hang in there.
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All-In [42197]
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Thank you
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Aug 17, 2023, 2:38 PM
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First & foremost - love & prayers to you and your wife. I have no way to empathize or even remotely comprehend that reality. Just love & prayers for my Clemson Family that is having a tough go of it.
I appreciate this. It's been a rough road, especially for her.
Yes - schools can charge for documented late pick-up. It has to have been a part of the paperwork filled out that discloses what the policy is. And then fees added - as with any other fee - when the kid isn't picked up.
I wasn't aware of this; thanks for the info.
Incredibly blessed with (2) 4 year olds, and if I had happen to me what Ford had happen to his family, I would have lost it. Right on the spot.
Oh, I 100 percent agree and get where Ford's coming from here. I was just throwing out another angle to consider on it.
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All-In [49060]
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Dude...
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Aug 17, 2023, 2:26 PM
[ in reply to You know what? ] |
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*fighting the urge to make inconsiderate but ultimately loving joke*
I don't know personally, but I know a lot of people who have gone the adoption route and I can say every single one of them clearly has every bit of love for their kid that I have for mine. In fact, I can't say that I love either of my biological children more than I love my step-children, even the middle daughter who is a pain in my ###. Heck, I've told the oldest she's my favorite kid, and probably meant it, more than once.
I, personally, knowing you only through this forum think you're going to be a tremendous dad. Some kid is fixing to get really lucky.
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All-In [42197]
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Re: Dude...
Aug 17, 2023, 2:39 PM
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I don't know personally, but I know a lot of people who have gone the adoption route and I can say every single one of them clearly has every bit of love for their kid that I have for mine. In fact, I can't say that I love either of my biological children more than I love my step-children, even the middle daughter who is a pain in my ###. Heck, I've told the oldest she's my favorite kid, and probably meant it, more than once.
I have some good friends who have gone through it as well and can echo those sentiments. I know I'll feel that way about them; it won't matter that they aren't blood related.
I, personally, knowing you only through this forum think you're going to be a tremendous dad. Some kid is fixing to get really lucky.
Thanks, man... my wife will probably teach them better habits, though.
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All-In [49060]
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I dunno man...
Aug 17, 2023, 1:47 PM
[ in reply to Da fuq is your problem, you little ####? ] |
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I've had 4 other kids in the public schools and they had no problem tacking fees onto the kids school accounts. You'd get on parent portal and be like, ### is this $50 charge for?
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All-In [42197]
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Yeah, but could they do that in this situation?
Aug 17, 2023, 1:49 PM
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Legally? Charging late fees for parental pickup? Because we also know there would be some valid reasons the parent is late. I dunno, seems dicey.
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All-In [49060]
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I think the district would have to adopt the policy...
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Aug 17, 2023, 2:08 PM
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but ultimately, they are already dealing with that in a much larger population with car riders. They radio ahead who you are there to pick up and if they don't radio, your kid doesn't exit the building. So anyone doesn't get picked up, they are the school's problem til they figure it out.
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Heisman Winner [105622]
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I believe they can involve the police in that situation as
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Aug 17, 2023, 1:06 PM
[ in reply to Serious answer ] |
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well, but I distinctly remember my Mom staying late because kids didn't get picked up OR kids didn't get off the bus like they were supposed to. She was the assistant principal and that was the 80s and 90s though, so sometimes she would take them home.
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Orange Blooded [4095]
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Re: So how much hell to raise?
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Aug 17, 2023, 12:53 PM
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If the principal really told you that if a parent isn't there they just leave the kid at the pickup point and walk away, you should go nuclear.
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All-In [31520]
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Me wandering into this thread then b lik
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Aug 17, 2023, 1:29 PM
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All-In [43778]
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And the thing is the real issue is
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Aug 17, 2023, 1:53 PM
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We need to be on time to pick up these kids, especially a four-year-old.
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Oculus Spirit [85339]
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lol, that never happens...never
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Aug 17, 2023, 1:58 PM
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There needs to be a plan for when people don't show up on time...That's real life.
The teacher should take the kid back to school to wait to be picked up.
This is what's normal. There are always kid's left at school waiting for pickup...Probably every school every day of the year.
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All-In [49060]
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And we legit aren't talking about 5 minutes, or ten minutes.
Aug 17, 2023, 2:38 PM
[ in reply to And the thing is the real issue is ] |
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My wife called me at 2:39. She was already walking back to the house with our child. Between 2:30, when the kids were dismissed from classrooms, and 2:39 the following things had happened. The kids were taken from their classes to a gathering spot for walkers that leave on that side of the school. Once they were all there, they were taken by a teacher out of the building and then about 2-300 yards down two sidewalks to the street. Then all the other kids with the teacher went to get in cars. Then the teacher left the last three standing there and started walking back up. My wife, based on where she entered school grounds, walking from about 45 degrees and 100 yards from the teacher, saw the teacher after she was halfway back to the school. She started walking faster. She saw our child walking across a back entrance to the school. She started jogging. Daughter disappears to the left of the entrance. Wife turns the corner, yells, and jogs to were daughter is.
She gets her, goes back to talk to a crossing guard who is halfway between where the kids were left and the car the other two girls got into. The crossing guard says, yeah, I saw that she wasn't with you but didn't think that much about it.
She then starts walking back and calls me to tell me what happened.
Even the bank will give you a grace period.
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All-In [43778]
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In all seriousness, 2 things here.
Aug 17, 2023, 5:33 PM
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And I'll throw out the caveat that you can only play with the hand you've been dealt.
1. It's critical that we be on time. We KNOW what the alternative is.
2. I'd go directly county school superintendent or whoever it is the principal reports to. Send them an email, lay out the facts, and recap as best you can what the principal said. Then go on to ask for clarification about policy and make sure they understand that if the policy is in alignment with what happens you are likely to explore alternative educational options aka private school.
Keep emotions out of the email and let them sort it out. I would think it would turn into quite the ordeal as it should.
There ain't a public school, private school, daycare, sports team, or any other event where that's proper handling of a 4 yr old. And I don't think anyone will dispute that.
The principal probably walks back her comments, denies them, or twists them some way. That's my guess. If it draws attention to the matter and prevents another occurance, then you win.
All of this is hard to believe. I'm not saying I don't believe you, I'm just saying it is really hard to think this kind of stuff actually happens.
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Hall of Famer [21940]
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I'm in a soon to be similar situation as you
Aug 17, 2023, 2:00 PM
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elementary school is maybe 200 yards from my front door, cut through our neighborhood and you're on school property.
my biggest takeaway is good on you for getting a 4 year old in Kindergarten. We are pushing hard to do the same, getting dawghater2toddler as smart as me is no small task though.
however, do you happen to have any hood kids she can tag along with? We're hood friends with ~ 5 families, all w/ kids the same age, and fully expect to lean on them (and them us) in these circumstances.
I would call it out to the school, but I would let my wife do it b/c my wife says I don't have a good way of talking to normal people...whatever the #### that means. It is a pretty significant issue, in this day and age, and is a surprising stance by them, IMO.
So, don't raise hell and over react (very rich coming from me ha). Put together communication strategy with wife, let her do the talking b/c women are typically softer / more gentle (speaking for myself here), and get some legit feedback from school. The point brought up about if something happens, the expectation is for your 4 yr old to just sit by the road is very valid and that use case in and of itself should warrant a re-thinking of their process.
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All-In [49060]
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She'll be 5 at the end of the month...
Aug 17, 2023, 2:14 PM
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and we flip flopped on holding her back a year because she's a mixed bag. Flighty, her fine motor isn't superlative, her reading and writing seem slow to progress to me, but her vocabulary rivals the 18 year olds and she is super super social to a fault. There aren't any other kids anywhere near her age who are walkers at this point. There is one lady that walks an older child but we haven't synced schedules well enough to chat yet and I don't know exactly where she lives. I could probably get my elderly neighbor to take her since they hang out once a week.
And this is my domain because I talk to people who madden me professionally all day and have a thick skin to it. My wife would have had an aneurysm if the principal told her that the policy is to drop them by the side of the road.
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Hall of Famer [21940]
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how'd y'all do that?!?!
Aug 17, 2023, 2:16 PM
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we're like 10 days off and already having to prepare negotiations
not discounting your ability to put together solid strategy. and I was speaking for myself, obviously, so tell me #### off if I'm way off base...but the delivery coming from my wife has yielded much better, consistent results.
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All-In [31520]
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Re: So how much hell to raise?
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Aug 17, 2023, 2:01 PM
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Also… either my age-dar is way off, or all y’all be some oldass wheelchair at HS graduation parents
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Oculus Spirit [85339]
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Re: So how much hell to raise?
Aug 17, 2023, 2:03 PM
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All-In [49060]
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I'll be closer to 70 than 60...
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Aug 17, 2023, 2:17 PM
[ in reply to Re: So how much hell to raise? ] |
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But hey, I'm trying to take good care of myself for that reason really. Wife will be closer to 60 than 70.
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All-In [47878]
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Obligatory "Well, just a second there, Professor"
Aug 17, 2023, 4:08 PM
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"...and if you aren't here by 2:30 on the nose, they will leave them out there."
Been busy and didn't even read the thread, but this seems to be a lawsuit in the waiting. What the hell are they thinking?
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