|
Replies: 28
| visibility 1
|
Heisman Winner [136296]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 26509
Joined: 9/18/12
|
I need some fatherly advice evenly from TNETers who don't
Mar 11, 2015, 8:30 AM
|
|
like me. My son turns four on May 5th. He played Wee-ball last year and did pretty good. He seems to enjoy it but when we "practice" at the house, after about five minutes or so, he wants to move on to something else. At this age I know his attention span is about 5 to 10 minutes before he moves on. I want him to play ball and sports came easy with me. I had an older and younger brother. When I came up, we didn't start any kind of organize ball until I was eight and for a tee-baller, I was pretty good and my dad kept me from playing in the 9-10 allstars. Do I need to continue not pushing him and continue with what I'm doing and let him make his choice if he is interested? When he and I do something and I sense his interest is starting the ease, I let him move on to something else instead of pushing him. Is this the right thing to do? Serious replies please.
|
|
|
|
 |
Heisman Winner [120269]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 54666
Joined: 6/24/09
|
Dont push...4 to 5 yrs old is way too young for organized
Mar 11, 2015, 8:35 AM
|
|
sports and the practice that goes with it....adults started it just to baby-sit kids
let him play in the dirt, it'll be good for the tyke.
|
|
|
|
|
|
All-Pro [666]
TigerPulse: 96%
Posts: 472
Joined: 8/31/09
|
Re: Dont push...4 to 5 yrs old is way too young for organized
Mar 11, 2015, 10:07 AM
|
|
> sports and the practice that goes with it....adults
> started it just to baby-sit kids
>
> let him play in the dirt, it'll be good for the tyke.
That's excellence advice sir.
|
|
|
|
|
|
All-In [25430]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 14705
Joined: 11/3/11
|
I sometimes think we push our kids to participate in too
Mar 11, 2015, 8:46 AM
|
|
many organized activities rather than allowing them to enjoy the spontaneous joys of developing their own interests.
Thus, a lot of youngsters miss out on outdoor romps with friends that require imagination and creativity.
My Mother constantly urged, "Go outside and play with your friends." When we'd ask, "Doing what," she'd reply, "You'll think of something." Which we did...from building mountains in sandboxes to climbing trees to playing "Tag" or throwing footballs. Sometimes, we simply played chase in the park across the street or swam or played tennis or roller skated.
The point is we created activities on our own, which contributed to our abilities to socialize with others.
|
|
|
|
|
|
CU Medallion [64716]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 89044
Joined: 3/27/01
|
Kids rarely play outside anymore....
Mar 11, 2015, 8:50 AM
|
|
and certainly not like we all did when we were kids and I think that is largely due to safety concerns.
We sakteboarded, rode bikes, rode motorcycles and gocarts, swam in creeks, built tree forts, camped-out in them, fished in ponds, built and raced coasters, and played all sorts of sports.
Heck, we'd get-up in the morning, go outside, hook-up with our friends, and play outside all day; most days until we had to be home for dinner, and then we'd go back ouitside and play some more until it got dark.
Kids don't do that anymore because the parents are afraid their kids will get hurt or kidnapped.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oculus Spirit [97089]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 29242
Joined: 9/14/05
|
Yes, safety and
Mar 11, 2015, 9:27 AM
|
|
internet, video games, cell phones, and TV.
|
|
|
|
|
|
CU Medallion [64716]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 89044
Joined: 3/27/01
|
Technology is great but....
Mar 11, 2015, 9:30 AM
|
|
it has made it too easy for kids to sit around on their behinds rather than getting-up, going outside, and doing something.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Orange Blooded [4302]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 3764
Joined: 11/18/03
|
Kind of like their parents spending all day on T-Net......
Mar 11, 2015, 9:35 AM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CU Medallion [64716]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 89044
Joined: 3/27/01
|
Oh but that's different
Mar 11, 2015, 9:57 AM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oculus Spirit [97089]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 29242
Joined: 9/14/05
|
When I was a kid, my parents would punish me by making me
Mar 11, 2015, 9:35 AM
[ in reply to Technology is great but.... ] |
|
stay inside.
My kids consider it punishment when we make them go outside.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Heisman Winner [105574]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 44178
Joined: 12/22/08
|
Don't push him, he will let you know when he is ready***
Mar 11, 2015, 8:51 AM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
All-In [37023]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 16328
Joined: 12/15/08
|
^^^^^^I agree
Mar 11, 2015, 8:59 AM
|
|
don't push just guide instead. You can always suggest and tell him you want to play at which he will gladly participate at some capacity most of the time. All you can do is introduce them to the games, they will decide how deep they want to go with it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
All-In [35206]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 6908
Joined: 7/2/13
|
|
|
|
|
|
Legend [19352]
TigerPulse: 92%
Posts: 22266
Joined: 4/25/04
|
|
|
|
|
|
All-In [35206]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 6908
Joined: 7/2/13
|
He's 4. Deer antler spray, roids, and send him to IMG
Mar 11, 2015, 8:58 AM
|
|
Academy and let's get this thing rolling.
I'll add him to my 2028 recruiting list.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Freshman [4]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 11
Joined: 9/24/13
|
Re: I need some fatherly advice evenly from TNETers who don't
Mar 11, 2015, 9:01 AM
|
|
My son is 7 and we went out to practice baseball and he only had about 10 minutes in him. Certianly don't push it. As a high school coach, I see too often the long term effects of pushing sports at a too early age.
|
|
|
|
|
|
All-In [30951]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 34571
Joined: 6/22/03
|
my youngest son has played baseball since 6.
Mar 11, 2015, 9:07 AM
|
|
My rule is, I will support you in whatever activity you choose but once you choose , you will commit. You will not quit. You can cry and throw a fit all you want , but you will do it on that field , gym, dojo, or court during practice or games.
Fielding in baseball is the hardest to get my kids who play baseball to practice.
They will practice hitting and pitching all day.
If you can get 10 mins of fielding out of your kid, take it and be happy. Hopefully he will get more serious by 9 where his skills will need to be on par with the kids who travel ball 300 days a year.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Scout Team [162]
TigerPulse: 95%
Posts: 334
Joined: 9/7/14
|
Re: my youngest son has played baseball since 6.
Mar 11, 2015, 9:48 AM
|
|
I have twin boys who will be 14 in two months. One loves sports and made starting 2nd baseman on the varsity baseball team while in junior high. His brother cares very little for sports but will play because his brother and his friends do as well. I never pushed them to play any organized sports. I simply had two rules they must follow if they want to play. It must not interfere with grades. Playing sports is a privilege. The other rule is once you sign up you can not quit. These are team sports and once you agree to play you can't quit because you aren't just quiting for yourself. You let down everyone associated with the team from coaches to the other players and that's not what you do when you're a part of a Team. The one who loves sports plays baseball, football, and Basketball. His brother just plays baseball. The one would rather play video games while his brother cares nothing for video games and would rather be outside. Their mother is a huge gamer and the one gets it from her. I will give him this, he is very good at FPS games such as Call Of Duty. Watching him amazes me. He has played in video game tournaments for a couple of years and has placed no worse than third place in any he has been in. The point to all of this is I didn't push either of them to do anything. I simply supported and nurtured what they enjoyed doing. Not all children enjoy sports but the key is finding what they truly enjoy doing and do it with them. I've taken my kids to the recipient with a truckload of friends and played ball for hours and I've also gathered all their friends to have video game tournaments at our house as well.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Orange Blooded [2418]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 6496
Joined: 11/17/12
|
Re: I need some fatherly advice evenly from TNETers who don't
Mar 11, 2015, 9:12 AM
|
|
Yeah definitely dont push. He will just never want to play if he isnt having fun with it. I have a 4 year old as well and I do a couple of different things. We practice for 10 minutes, then do something he wants to do for 10 minutes then go back to practicing. Or I make it where I give him an incentive, like, "Try your best and give me good swings for 20 pitches then you can pick the next game. Every kid is different but search around, try a few strategies and you will find what works.
|
|
|
|
|
|
All-Conference [423]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 290
Joined: 1/16/03
|
Im in the same boat as you
Mar 11, 2015, 9:13 AM
|
|
I too have a 4yr old son. He will be 5 in July. If you find a book on how to be a dad please let me know! I've read some of the popular "How to be a great dad" books out there but you can only get so much out of them. You hit the mark on their attention span only being 10-15 minutes long. I have found he is very influenced by other kinds, imagine that?!!! And what I mean is he will play ball ( basketball, kickball, baseball, etc.) for a lot longer when he is surrounded by other kids doing the same thing. Apparently I can't make it fun for him but his two friends from daycare can. Heck, I'm trying to get him to eat over his plate, say Yes Sir/ No Sir, and to wash his hands after potty'ing. I'm in the Air Force so I believe in structure, but man it's hard to discipline at this age. As much as we want our kids to follow in our own footsteps, sometimes it just doesn't happen. My advice is to be patient which is very, very tuff to do. Change with his mood swings, but keep up a standard or house rules (such as manners, hygiene and putting shoes up in closet). I want him to play and learn and involve me, but he knows at 8pm it's bedtime and no questions asked. I've read in a couple of books that it means a lot to a child if you (father) can play with him/ her for just ten minutes a day. It's tuff but I do try even if it means I dress up like Leonardo, talk like Goofy, or read a short book. Just the other day he and I were flying helicopters in my backyard just before dinner. I may forget that moment but I bet he wont! Be patient, spend time with him and you will do just fine!
Matt
Message was edited by: CRAWDAD®
|
|
|
|
|
|
CU Medallion [64716]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 89044
Joined: 3/27/01
|
As your boys get older.....
Mar 11, 2015, 9:23 AM
|
|
I would encourage you to consider getting them involved in scouting, and do it with them.
While the boys are having fun and doing things they like to do (camping, swimming, hiking, canoeing, biking and climbing), they also learn new things, discover and master new skills, gain self-confidence, and develop strong friendships.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Legend [19643]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 16905
Joined: 9/5/02
|
Take away the simple-minded, loner activites more often...
Mar 11, 2015, 9:21 AM
|
|
the TV, computer, video games, phones and such and then you'll see what he truly gravitates toward.
It may be the creative; he'll seek out his crayons, clay, etc... He may lean on sports; kicking a ball, jumping over the couch, dancing, ot wating to throw ball. He might gravitate more to construction; blocks, legos, pillow forts, etc...
I'm as guilty as anybody, but the kids all want to sit at the eaisiest, most convenient activity when the electronic devices are overly promoted.
|
|
|
|
|
|
All-In [49613]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 30357
Joined: 12/10/98
|
Want him to play teh game? Play it with him
Mar 11, 2015, 9:24 AM
|
|
It's not pushing if youdo it together. Unless he's a prodigy, 4-5 years old isn't really old enough to be concerned about the nuances of the sport ... any sport. But it is old enough to enjoy playing with his dad.
And yep ... 5-10 minutes is about average, unless there's a reward for going further. The trick is getting a kid to practice longer without making it feel like work.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Hall of Famer [22420]
TigerPulse: 99%
Posts: 31315
Joined: 11/30/98
|
Just make sure to sign him up for all of the sports
Mar 11, 2015, 9:50 AM
|
|
teams and expose him to other kids and coaches and all of the advantages that sports team participation offers. Don't let the young mind make all of the decisions. Sometimes the kid may not be excited about it at the moment you ask them if they want to sign up for basketball, etc. Sign him up anyway and see how it works out. Don't get into a season and have him wishing he would have played. At least until he can start to get a feel for each sport after a couple of years working on it. Things are more fun when you are good at them and that takes time and repetition.
Plus, perhaps you haven't experienced it yet, but sons don't always want to listen to dads as much as dads would like, no matter how much the dad knows about the matter at hand. 
As they get older, it's ok to push them to be better and to tell them what is required to get there. That's one of the hard things about being a parent - finding those buttons to push without pushing too hard.
|
|
|
|
|
|
110%er [5436]
TigerPulse: 88%
Posts: 11913
Joined: 9/23/01
|
Re: I need some fatherly advice evenly from TNETers who don't
Mar 11, 2015, 10:12 AM
|
|
Way to many good ball players get burned out before it's time to play.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Legend [15926]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 7802
Joined: 11/15/09
|
At that age, just play with your kid and love him up
Mar 11, 2015, 10:41 AM
|
|
I def wouldn't push it. My daughters 12. She isnt me and your son isn't you. Our kids will find their own pursuits if we expose them and commit to helping them do what they are interested in.
The one place i feel differently is music. I would have made my daughter take piano (or some music) by age 10 for several years even if she didnt like it.. fortunately, she did.
|
|
|
|
|
|
CU Guru [1400]
TigerPulse: 98%
Posts: 1393
Joined: 11/30/10
|
Definately don't push
Mar 11, 2015, 10:41 AM
|
|
because when you do you stand a very good chance of driving him away from the sport.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Orange Blooded [2236]
TigerPulse: 99%
Posts: 2424
Joined: 9/9/02
|
Re: I need some fatherly advice evenly from TNETers who don't
Mar 11, 2015, 10:47 AM
|
|
All these answers you've received are pretty much spot on. I was in your shoes with my son and daughter. I want them to love sports and I finally decided to let them pick and choose what they do and I am there for positive critiquing and encouragement. I grew up playing everything from sun up to sun down. My wife is the opposite, she didn't play any sports and rarely went outside due to where she lived. But, we have a rule at our house...if you join a team you commit to that team and commit to the time frame expected for that season. We don't play 2 sports at a time, ex. flag football and baseball. That's not fair to your team or coaches of either team. Overlapping sports are ok as long as we can manage. Now that they are 13 and 10 we make them play something, anything just to stay active. My son is a "seasonal" player...whatever sport is going on he's playing. All we ask is that if they play a sport they learn and play it the right way. We don't pay our hard earned $$$ for them to treat practice and games like it's a social event.
Let your boy find his course and you can be there to help him along and guide him. Trust me, sports aren't forever and for some they just don't click. As he gets older you use sports as a learning mechanism in all aspects for him. You'll find out getting an A in science is just as rewarding as the game winning run in the bottom of the ninth, the winning basket as time expires, etc. You'll be just fine my man! Good luck!
|
|
|
|
|
|
110%er [5510]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 5417
Joined: 3/9/11
|
Re: I need some fatherly advice evenly from TNETers who don't
Mar 11, 2015, 11:49 AM
|
|
The best thing I can say is DON'T PUSH. My brothers tried pushing me and I rebelled. Had a high school coach that demanded that I play basketball. I refused and he caused me to hate that sport for years and tried to have my grades changed to failing. Just let the little guy do his thing for now and encourage him in what he is interested in. It will work.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Replies: 28
| visibility 1
|
|
|
50
