Predictions for 2023-2024 Football Season

Jul 24, 2023, 11:25 AM

With ACC Media Days this week, we will be seeing more predictions in the next few days. I hope you all don’t mind my sharing my predictions as well.

August 2023: The crowing from Gamechicken fans grows increasingly louder regarding their upcoming season of greatness. The fact that they have never experienced greatness apparently escapes them. Neither Clemson nor Georgia has any prayer against the Shane Train! Neither does Bama in the SEC Title game. (The fact that these three teams collectively are the winners of six of the last seven National Titles and have also made five additional appearances in those seven title games also apparently escapes them.)

August 2023: Since it will be shown on ESPN, several TV pundits begin hyping up the Labor Day game between Clemson and Duke. Many predict a Clemson win – but in a very tight game.

August 2023: After finally reaching 100,000 points in July, deadsolidperfect® intentionally decides to get banned again before the mods can change their minds and take these points away. DSP is no dummy! Hopefully, it will be a short ban, friend!

September 2023: Upset Alert!! As opening weekend continues, more and more TV pundits are changing their predictions. Momentum grows for Duke as the pundits begin predicting the Blue Devils to pull off the upset.

September 2023: Clemson rolls Duke by 35 points. Pundits are stunned and gobsmacked – but, none-the-less they still pretend they had really expected it all along

September 2023: TNet sponsors its first tailgate! Posters finally get to meet their virtual TNet friends. Bob is there, too.

September 2023: After suffering a couple of humiliating losses, Gamechicken fans briefly come down to Earth. But the fans still believe they can hang with anyone on the right day.

September 2023: Undefeated FSU comes to undefeated Clemson for a Top 5 matchup. Gameday arrives early! No longer on the GameDay set, David Pollack is seen in the crowd wearing orange – further cementing his good judgment in football.

October 2024: Former and current Clemson golfers turn the tables. They begin posting updates of Skeeta56®’s latest golf games.

October 2024: After the TNet tailgate, cutigerbob® has tired of TNet making fun of his hobbit-sized height – so he finds platform shoes that add over a foot to his height. Unfortunately, Bob now gets charged the full adult price at movie theaters. He says it is worth it, though, as he now can finally ride the adult roller coasters at Carowinds!

October 2023: Despite their slow start to the season, Gamechicken fans are starting to believe their team will finish strong!! Their losing record will NOT keep them from upsetting undefeated Clemson next month!

October 2023: Tennessee will be found breaking more highly serious NCAA rules. As a deserved and fair punishment, the UT Head Coach will receive a stern “talking to” and will lose his private parking spot on campus for nearly two weeks!

November 2023: Clemson football (we’re the Good Guys) has no problem hanging 40 on the Gamechickens – by halftime. Dabo then rests the starters. And, he also rests the backups. The third string then hangs another 20 on the Gamechickens in route to a 60-0 victory.

December 2023: Undefeated Clemson easily wins the ACC Football Championship by defeating FSU for the second time. As part of its audition for the SEC, FSU claims it “did not want to be there.”

January 2024: Clemson Football completes a 15-0 season by winning the National Championship. Shane Beamer immediately points out that his team’s 60-point loss to Clemson in November means that they were an integral part of a national championship season. Rings are awarded in Columbia and another banner is hung.

January 2024: Having just won his third national title, ESPN pundits begin to wonder if they have not given Dabo his due credit. Looking to correct this slight, ESPN.com runs a story asking if Dabo should be moved up their ranking of active coaches into the Top 15.

January 2024: The SEC and Big Ten commissioners get into a heated argument over which conference invitation Clemson should (will) accept. (Each commissioner is later seen sporting a black eye.) The ACC commissioner tries to interject himself into the fight over Clemson. He is told to sit down and shut up like a good little fellow.

February 2024: The last TNet poster to be called a coot by BloodbeOrange® is finally identified. BBO calls this poster a coot moments before taking a well-earned rest. Nothing like looking back on a tough assignment that has finally been completed! (By the way BBO, you have yet to call me a coot. I am not quite sure how to take it.)

February 2024: The SEC, Big Ten, and ACC Commissioners meet again after their negotiations to claim Clemson fell short the previous month. Shortly after the meeting starts, the ACC Commissioner is seen leaving. He returns 20 minutes later carrying steaming cups of Starbucks.