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CU Medallion [60066]
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Wife and money
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Aug 21, 2023, 1:45 PM
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If married, tell me if you have this issue at home.
Wife makes more than me and that is fine. Never has bothered me. However what bothers the #### out of me is how she throws more than half her paycheck in savings each pay period. However her (and my) lifestyle isn’t going to work on putting this much in savings. So every fukkkkkking week it’s constantly moving of money from savings to checking.
Our savings is healthy and our retirement accounts are fine, so why do we constantly have to fret over “moving money”.
It drives me insane. It’s like it’s a game to her or something.
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Oculus Spirit [79265]
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Married person checking in
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Aug 21, 2023, 1:48 PM
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I do not have this problem. Easy way to solve it is to just keep producing more fucktrophies and you won't have to worry about moving any monies to savings.
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Heisman Winner [105633]
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MY MAN!!!!!!!!!!
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Aug 21, 2023, 1:49 PM
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Heisman Winner [105633]
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Mine is the opposite.
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Aug 21, 2023, 1:49 PM
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My wife makes a good bit less, thanks to public schools not paying shiiiddd. She couldn't care less about having money for a rainy day. I wish she cared that much. She has a set amount going into State Retirement and a set amount going into another retirement plan. That is it for her.
Do you have to move money around? Can you not get a money market account like Ally that has a debit card...IF NEEDED. That is where my emergency fund is. If I need to access that $67, I have a debit card to use.
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All-In [42920]
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For us I do all of the money-moving and bill paying, so we
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Aug 21, 2023, 1:52 PM
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don't have this problem. I have it set up to move some to savings every paycheck, and then I move it back when/if needed but just in one chunk not dribs and drabs.
Also, if I ever did #### it up the credit union will automatically move cash from savings to checking to cover any overdrafts, so nothing bounces and no fees for overdraft.
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All-In [36450]
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My wife makes way more money than I do.
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Aug 21, 2023, 1:52 PM
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But she also spends much more than I do. It’s hard to argue w her when she makes it. She just booked a trip for us for Feb, Dublin 3 days, London 3 days, Amsterdam 3 days.
Can’t say I’m angry about it.
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CU Medallion [60066]
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Re: My wife makes way more money than I do.
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Aug 21, 2023, 4:04 PM
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CU Medallion [60066]
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I just see $2500 Amex bills happen and I
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Aug 21, 2023, 4:11 PM
[ in reply to My wife makes way more money than I do. ] |
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just hope it’s not for hotel rooms with other dudes. I don’t ask no questions.
However we do have a lot of Gucci purses and Fendi wallets. So that can explain some.
I got a Burberry wallet for Father’s Day. So I just don’t say anything. Just #### her right and hope for the best.
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CU Medallion [56109]
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I have that exact issue.
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Aug 21, 2023, 1:52 PM
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Except I'm the one who's always moving money around. I mainly do it to starve the beast. We manage money more responsibly when we appear to have less of it to throw around. Invariably I have to move some back for an unexpected bill or purchase, but it's worth it to me.
Also, my wife's a teacher and she receives fewer paychecks over the summer. Same amount of money spread over two paycycles instead of four. I dump half of her paycheck into savings right away for the mortgage.
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110%er [5791]
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I’m the same way, I tend to spend based on my checking balance
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Aug 21, 2023, 2:42 PM
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Also my wife is a therapist (mental health) and is finally licensed to open her own practice. I’m excited for the dozens of extra dollars she’ll be making.
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Heisman Winner [105633]
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She got her LPC?
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Aug 21, 2023, 2:44 PM
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Wife of Greenr did that, went through the whole process, then got a wild hair to go work in schools. I think the private practice has POTENTIAL to bring in more doll hairs, but you gotta be able to bill those hours. We had our third around that time, IIRC, and realized school was the way to go for the hours/summers off.
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110%er [5791]
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I honestly don’t know what it is, but I think it was LIC?
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Aug 21, 2023, 2:47 PM
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I know it’s not an LPC, and she tried to explain the difference but it’s apparently a similar parallel.
She still has her 9-5 as her primary source of income, but does online therapy for adults in the evenings and weekends. The only problem is that the proxy that sets all that up takes a cut. So she’s looking to start something similar once she gets paneled with insurances.
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Heisman Winner [105633]
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Oh man, the online idea helps take out the real estate issue
Aug 21, 2023, 2:59 PM
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for having a physical office, paying front staff, etc. I imagine that helps funnel people to her and expands her ability to treat people outside her local circle. Anyway, congrats to her and good luck!
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All-In [27154]
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Similar situation.
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Aug 21, 2023, 1:53 PM
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Wife is primary breadwinner, and also very conservative with spending and aggressive on retirement (we agree on this, so never an issue there). I run the finances though, so it's me moving money from checking to savings, and from savings back to checking if we have any unexpected expensive purchases for the month. I consider it less a game than more aspirational savings vs. reality of having a kid/amazon prime.
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All-TigerNet [11252]
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Re: Similar situation.
Aug 21, 2023, 2:50 PM
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Yeah, what's the point of having all that money if you can't play with it some?
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All-In [46835]
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Lulz at these cucks ITT
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Aug 21, 2023, 1:58 PM
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I make almost double what my wife makes. I also handle all of the finances. The biggest thing that I hate is she will randomly take out $200 and put it in her little box she keeps in her dresser without telling me.
So I'm looking all around trying to figure out why my budget is $200 off and it's her.
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All-In [36450]
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It’s easy to make double your wife when she only makes 20K…
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Aug 21, 2023, 2:38 PM
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All-In [27154]
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it costs a lot less than that to double
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Aug 21, 2023, 2:39 PM
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nevermind. we all learned a lesson earlier today.
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Oculus Spirit [81078]
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All-In [46835]
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Name every dime brosef
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Aug 21, 2023, 2:42 PM
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Oculus Spirit [81078]
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I don't "budget" anything.
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Aug 21, 2023, 2:46 PM
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I pay 60% of the house payment, all the internets, electric, and water, my phone, and everything left over goes into a money market account.
I am not going to sweat $200.
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Heisman Winner [138018]
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Sugarmama?
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Aug 21, 2023, 1:59 PM
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All-In [27154]
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My recommendation to any young man in Charleston who
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Aug 21, 2023, 2:03 PM
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is ready to wash his sheets and become an adult is to hang outside the MUSC School of Pharmacy.
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All-In [42213]
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Re: Wife and money
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Aug 21, 2023, 2:02 PM
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Haha, dude, I'm right there with you on all fronts. I guess maybe a little worse the last month because we had a few unexpected big expenses, but yeah.
I don't give her hell about spending because of the money making dynamic similar to yours (and we're in fine shape now as opposed to 10 years ago when we fought over money all the time). Are we in the black and she wants another purse? Fine, whatever.
But she spends waaaaaaay more than I do each month (she keeps the Amazon driver sick and tired of our street), and then asks where the money went and why we have to move some over and I'm like:
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All-In [31520]
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Re: Wife and money
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Aug 21, 2023, 2:14 PM
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Wifey no workey but big spendy
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Hall of Famer [21950]
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thought that was core
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Aug 21, 2023, 2:42 PM
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class for med school?
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All-In [36450]
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If my wife was a top surgeon I would also be…
Aug 21, 2023, 2:45 PM
[ in reply to Re: Wife and money ] |
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No workey and big spendy.
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Lot o points [163012]
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Word of advice
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Aug 21, 2023, 2:45 PM
[ in reply to Re: Wife and money ] |
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put her on a budget. You do not need the $2,000 of butterflies to be released at your kid's birthday. ETC.
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All-In [36450]
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YOLO FatherG YOLO
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Aug 21, 2023, 2:46 PM
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All-In [31520]
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Re: Word of advice
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Aug 21, 2023, 3:03 PM
[ in reply to Word of advice ] |
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She has her own checking account that I plop money into on the first of the month and don’t ask questions about where it goes. Her instinct with money is to spend it until it’s gone, so I’ve had to cut unfettered access to my checking account.
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Lot o points [163012]
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Good for you
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Aug 21, 2023, 3:05 PM
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too many times I have seen the breadwinner just turn over control of cash to the non-breadwinning spouse and if they are not the saving type, it gets out of control as there seems to be an unlimited cash flow coming in.
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All-In [31520]
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Re: Good for you
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Aug 21, 2023, 3:23 PM
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The infinite money pot. Not working has a way of disconnecting one from the value of money
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All-In [42920]
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Re: Good for you
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Aug 21, 2023, 3:25 PM
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All-In [36450]
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Oculus Spirit [81078]
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You mean getting a check for not working?
Aug 21, 2023, 3:21 PM
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That'd be friggin' awesome.
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All-TigerNet [13764]
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Nah homie. Separate accounts.
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Aug 21, 2023, 2:17 PM
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Ayejoe's paycheck and a little bit of Wife of Ayejoe's paycheck gozinta "my" checking account after retirement fund allocations. She is technically on the account in case of emergency but there is no debit card for this account so she has no practical way to access it for everyday purchases or impulse Amazon/Etsy/Athleta purchases. THe balance of Wife of's check gozinta "her" checking account at a different bank (this account she's had since childhood).
Den, all monthly bills are autodrafted/payed from Ayejoe's CC and that CC is paid off monthly from "my" checking account. Mortgage and car payments are paid form "my" checking account. I move doll hairs from checking to savings depending on that month's bonus, how many times we went out for dinner, was a trip in there somewhere, whatever.
Any monies that Wife of has in "her" checking account is hers to spend as freely as her little heart desires with no oversight from me. She knows that that money is not being counted on for any practical purposes. She will usually consult if she is making a really large purchase, like if she wants new furniture or a computer or her cricut booshit, but mostly that's because she doesn't want to spend her own money on it and is angling to get me to buy it.
Occasionally she will ask what's in my checking/savings but not often.
I am sure this arrangement has saved our marriage many times over without our ever even knowing it.
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Heisman Winner [136083]
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This is why we had 3 accounts
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Aug 21, 2023, 2:17 PM
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Hers, mine, ours.
Ours was an equal contribution each month to a joint checking for bills and groceries plus a smaller contribution to an emergency savings for surprise household expenses. Once the savings built up, we usually would spent the overage on a nice vacation. If we needed a new roof, etc. we didn’t go.
Everything else we paid for out of our individual accounts.
Want a new car? Can you afford it? Go for it.
Going out to eat? Who picked the restaurant? You pay.
Want to build up savings? Go for it.
Probably helped a lot that we didn’t have kids.
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Oculus Spirit [85367]
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I got a bonus in December that might be worth more
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Aug 21, 2023, 2:18 PM
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than you make in a year after taxes. Im crushing some projects left and right, but I guess there is probably a little bit more I could do. I could probably put in a few more hours to make my boss happy, but I think hitting 50 a week and spending time at home is probably better for me mentally.
Checking: 3953
House Fund: 60,026
Savings: 91,000.00
Combined (Personal, not Red) Retirement:145,072
Spank Bank: ?
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Oculus Spirit [75757]
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If I'm reading this correctly, you seem to have
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Aug 21, 2023, 2:20 PM
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far too much cash.
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Oculus Spirit [85367]
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Don't get me started, stupid family fran financial advisors***
Aug 21, 2023, 2:22 PM
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Oculus Spirit [75757]
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Please tell me the 91 is a least spread out into
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Aug 21, 2023, 2:34 PM
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whatever local credit union has the best certificate of deposit rates right now.
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Oculus Spirit [81078]
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pssst
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Aug 21, 2023, 2:42 PM
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This is from a previous post
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Oculus Spirit [75757]
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pssst #### off #######.***
Aug 21, 2023, 2:50 PM
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Oculus Spirit [81078]
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That escalated quickly***
Aug 21, 2023, 2:52 PM
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Oculus Spirit [75757]
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Well, you didn't even bother to share a link so that
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Aug 21, 2023, 2:53 PM
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has a much value as a FBmooch post. Doesn't matter if already discussed, even if that was only half an hour ago.
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Oculus Spirit [81078]
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Re: Well, you didn't even bother to share a link so that
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Aug 21, 2023, 2:57 PM
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It was a copy pasta I made one day last week to Mclovin, of something Rulez made about 2 years ago.
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Oculus Spirit [85367]
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Yeah, I'm glad you posted so I could steal it
Aug 21, 2023, 2:59 PM
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wasn't too hard to locate from 1 week
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Oculus Spirit [75757]
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Y'all remember too much.
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Aug 21, 2023, 3:02 PM
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I can't recall what I've asked half the time, much less other stuff that goes on.
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All-In [36450]
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Bro needs to buy a townhome and rent that shiat.
Aug 21, 2023, 2:50 PM
[ in reply to If I'm reading this correctly, you seem to have ] |
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Don’t sit on that cash. Make a great investment and then just sit back and profit. The checks come in the mail and you gotta have a handy man to fix shiat when they call.
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All-In [31920]
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I differ with many on this...
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Aug 21, 2023, 7:29 PM
[ in reply to I got a bonus in December that might be worth more ] |
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But feel strongly that one account and an agreed to monthly budget is the best way.
All the money goes into one account and then we have a monthly budget of what goes where after that. Unique budget each month.
Now...my wife doesn't work outside the house now so our only income is mine but back in the day when she taught we did it the same way.
This method forces agreement/compromise on how money is spent.
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All-In [31920]
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I meant this reply to OP***
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Aug 21, 2023, 7:31 PM
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CU Medallion [60066]
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I agree
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Aug 21, 2023, 7:39 PM
[ in reply to I differ with many on this... ] |
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I think (not a judgement of anyone here) that separate accounts means there are trust issues on some level.
But I can see the flip side too.
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Oculus Spirit [75757]
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So, what you are saying is she doesn't give you
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Aug 21, 2023, 2:18 PM
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enough of an allowance?
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Oculus Spirit [85367]
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No, we don't have that issue
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Aug 21, 2023, 2:21 PM
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We have separate accounts and she is a teacher.
She puts in to her retirement, I put in to my retirement, and occasionally she let's me put into her slurge fund account.
My MIL gave me a book called the wealthy barber. That dude said just save 10%, so like, that's easy.
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Hall of Famer [21950]
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we're going through this, but for different reasons
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Aug 21, 2023, 2:37 PM
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we're trying to adjust to new cost of living w/ 2. having to re-establish baseline OpEx.
We've also been blessed to have way more income than normal come in, so got a little Dabo-esque in sitting around smelling our own farts.
so.....
irdgaf who makes what, whatever. if I sold zero, my wife would make more than me w/ her bonuses and options and what not.
what matters is getting sound baseline opex budget set up, getting your auto deposits and transfers set up to mimic that, and then you'll have more wiggle room from baseline to topline.
I have ~$35k post tax dollars going to daycare at the moment, so we're having to get a little skinnier than we're used to.
I didn't catch this until I finally did my Q2 reports (a month and change late) and have started cracking the whip.
fwiw, I do the same thing. I put a lot of my paycheck automatically in savings, and as stated earlier, with some windfalls we've had the past few quarters, we've been making so much it didn't matter. now that #2 is in daycare, economy is going to hell in a handbasket, we're doin a little tightening of the purse strings exercises to get wife in right habits.
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All-In [36450]
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When my twins got out of daycare and into elementary school.
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Aug 21, 2023, 2:53 PM
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It was like I got a huge raise. Your time will come.
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All-In [31520]
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Hall of Famer [24124]
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Re: we're going through this, but for different reasons
Aug 21, 2023, 7:34 PM
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That's pretty normal around here. Maybe even on the low side from what I've heard.
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All-In [27851]
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Re: Wife and money
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Aug 21, 2023, 2:55 PM
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My wife insists on making Jeff Bezos richer by buying everything on Amazon to include what we don't need.
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Hall of Famer [21271]
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Wife stays home with kiddos
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Aug 21, 2023, 3:01 PM
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Neither of us are spenders. We spend maybe about 1/4 of what we (I) make. I usually use it to buy investment properties because it is fun. At some point, we will stop investing all of it and then we went know what to do with it... so I will probably just keep buying investment properties.
I always say that we are UDR (upper deck rich). Our lifestyle is way lower than it could be... and we are ok with that.
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Orange Blooded [4701]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 2189
Joined: 5/21/05
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What's mine is mine and what's his is mine***
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Aug 21, 2023, 4:26 PM
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Oculus Spirit [81925]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 47122
Joined: 3/18/07
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We each throw $2,250 a month into our joint checking account
1
Aug 21, 2023, 4:40 PM
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which will pay for all joint expenses and the joint credit card.
Then the rest of the money we're free to do what we want.
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Oculus Spirit [97764]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 64899
Joined: 7/13/02
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Married. And no.***
Aug 21, 2023, 6:54 PM
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Hall of Famer [24124]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 12230
Joined: 9/1/14
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Re: Wife and money
Aug 21, 2023, 7:26 PM
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We pay pretty much everything on a credit card and pay it weekly. We put everything else in savings. Neither one of us are real big spenders when it comes to stuff. We are both fairly frugal.
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Replies: 63
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