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Replies: 37
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All-TigerNet [14282]
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Junge project time
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Mar 6, 2024, 3:08 PM
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I enjoy the coaching equivalent of playing right field (1st base coach) for my son's little league team. One of the things I've done over the last two years is tell the kids a dumb dad joke when they reach base and they love it. Here's the project help I need.
Please contribute Dad jokes that 9-10 year olds will get and I won't be in trouble for telling.
I plan to make a little card and laminate it so it looks like I'm some type of weirdo who takes little league too seriously by looking at a card with strategies when in fact, I'll be reading dumb jokes.
Thanks
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All-In [42909]
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Why did the Irishman only eat 239 beans?
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Mar 6, 2024, 3:11 PM
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Because one more would be (Irish accent) Two Fahty
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Heisman Winner [135621]
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If you're going to do it then go all the way and do it right.
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Mar 6, 2024, 3:12 PM
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All-TigerNet [14282]
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There is a team that uses those
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Mar 6, 2024, 3:17 PM
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I plan to do it like the way the scouting reports are done on hitters for fielders to know where to play it.
like this
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Lot o points [181008]
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Re: Junge project time
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Mar 6, 2024, 3:15 PM
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All-In [27152]
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Why doesn't baseball make sense?
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Mar 6, 2024, 3:15 PM
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A guy with four balls can't walk.
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All-TigerNet [13360]
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Knock knock
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Mar 6, 2024, 3:16 PM
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Who’s there
Little boy blue
….
Michael Jackson
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All-In [26514]
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Ignore that pitcher he balks too much.***
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Mar 6, 2024, 3:19 PM
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All-In [43778]
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Ya know what son? Imma tell that umpire to check his phone after the game
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Mar 6, 2024, 3:22 PM
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because he's missing A LOTTA calls!
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All-In [26514]
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What is Babe Ruths least favorite dessert ?
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Mar 6, 2024, 3:24 PM
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Bunt cake
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Oculus Spirit [85339]
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Here goes.
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Mar 6, 2024, 3:27 PM
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What do you call a fish with no eye?
FSH!
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Bc it was dead.
Why did the rabbit fall out of the tree?
Bc it was stapled to the monkey's back.
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Bc they taste funny.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
Where's my tractor.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
*When the kid says "Nacho cheese" tell him no, "Somebody else's cheese".
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it.
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way unique up on one.
What do you call a vampire that's had too much to eat?
A full count.
Why don't blind people sky-dive?
Bc it scares the dog.
Why don't blind people drive?
Bc it scares the dog and they can't see where they are going.
How many kids with ADD does it take to play a baseball game?
IDK, want to go ride bikes?
What did the fish say when it ran into a wall?
deez nutz.
What do you call a deer with no eyes
No eye deer.
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs
Still no eye deer
How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice and when he walks up to it, kick him in the ice hole.
What does a ghey horse eat?
Heeeeyyyy.
Why is six scared of seven?
Because seven ate nine.
Did you know Davey Crockett had three ears?
His left ear, his right ear, and his wild front ear.
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CU Medallion [66085]
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Joined: 6/12/14
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All-In [43778]
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Joined: 4/24/15
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If people from Poland are called Poles, what do you call people
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Mar 6, 2024, 3:29 PM
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from Holland?
He says: "Holes"?
And you go: "Nah. Dutch"
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Lot o points [181008]
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Posts: 94643
Joined: 12/5/10
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Re: If people from Poland are called Poles, what do you call people
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Mar 6, 2024, 3:30 PM
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All-TigerNet [11213]
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Posts: 14770
Joined: 6/29/01
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All-TigerNet [12165]
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Joined: 5/16/00
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the fact that you made it to first base....
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Mar 6, 2024, 3:37 PM
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ha ha get it? what a joke!!
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All-In [27152]
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Heisman Winner [105622]
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Joined: 12/2/02
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This one is great, might take a couple innings to finish it though
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Mar 6, 2024, 3:53 PM
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RIP Danny Tanner, he was funny telling that one.
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All-In [43778]
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"Ok check this out. Let's say we drilled a hole through the earth.
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Mar 6, 2024, 3:45 PM
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And we started right here on first base. And that hole through the center of the earth came out in Sydney, Australia. You with me so far?
Ok next we install an elevator. It goes from first base right here alllll the way to Sydney, Australia. You understand?
Alright if you got on that elevator, when you got to Sydney would you be standing on your head?"
The kid will say yes or no or I don't know or something.
The end.
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Oculus Spirit [85339]
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No, you would be a melted pile of mush because 9,400 Fahrenheit
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Mar 6, 2024, 3:52 PM
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ain't no joke.
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All-In [27152]
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I don't think this was a joke as much as a brain tickler.
3
Mar 6, 2024, 4:00 PM
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but we should be careful about tickling boys we coach.
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Heisman Winner [105622]
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Joined: 12/2/02
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What's Brown and Rhymes with Snoop?
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Mar 6, 2024, 3:52 PM
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Dr. Dre
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All-In [47878]
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Joined: 12/22/98
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What's brown and sticky?
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Mar 6, 2024, 4:32 PM
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A stick.
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Lot o points [163012]
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Re: Junge project time
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Mar 6, 2024, 5:53 PM
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1. Why don’t baseball players join unions? Because they can’t stand strikes!
2. Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Don’t worry, it’s over your head.
3. Why was the baseball glove loving the summer Florida weather? Because it kept catching the rays!
4. Why did the baseball player join the music band? Because he had perfect pitch!
5. Why did designated hitter become a baker? He was always batter up!
6. If you build it, they will come. Now how do you get them to leave.
7. Why did the scarecrow become a baseball player? Because he was outstanding in his field!
8. Why don’t baseball players bring a rope to the game? There’s never a tie.
9. Why doesn’t the baseball manager order beverages by the glass?
Because they’re always ordering up new pitchers!
10. Why did the pitcher go to jail? Because he had a killer fastball!
11. Why do vampires love Baseball? All the swinging bats?
12. How come cats never play baseball? There are too many cheetahs!
13. How is a bad player like a blanket? They both make great bench warmers!
14. What did the baseball glove say to the ball? Catch you later!
15. Why are most baseball stadiums so cold? Because they are full of fans.
16. How do baseball players handle a hot streak? Oven mitts!
17. Why are some umpires fat? Because they always clean their plate!
18. Wjy do hitters hate curvy roads? The prefer line drives!
19. What’s a home run hitter’s favorite type of music? Swing!
20. Why did the baseball player become a jeweler? Because he was great around diamonds!
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Lot o points [181008]
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Joined: 12/5/10
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Way to go ai***
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Mar 6, 2024, 7:54 PM
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Lot o points [163012]
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Joined: 1/17/07
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Simple Google actually***
Mar 6, 2024, 8:19 PM
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All-TigerNet [14282]
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Excellent work. Keep them coming.***
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Mar 6, 2024, 6:09 PM
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All-In [29879]
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Re: Junge project time
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Mar 6, 2024, 6:58 PM
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You guys hear about the pauper eunuch that got that girl pregnant?
Seriously, he came from nothing.
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All-In [29879]
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Joined: 10/31/10
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Re: Junge project time
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Mar 6, 2024, 7:11 PM
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What do you call a petite fortune teller that's on the run?
That's a small medium at large
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Oculus Spirit [76354]
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Posts: 1464
Joined: 10/24/23
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What is a group of transgender women called?
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Mar 6, 2024, 7:40 PM
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The X-Men
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All-In [45796]
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Joined: 2/1/99
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Dorito eaters?*********
Mar 6, 2024, 8:31 PM
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Hall of Famer [22948]
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Posts: 16899
Joined: 12/2/00
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Re: Junge project time
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Mar 6, 2024, 8:01 PM
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What word starts with E and ends with E, but only has one letter in it? Envelope
What would you get if a dinosaur kicked you in the rear end? A mega-sore-ass
If a child refuses a nap, are they resisting arrest?
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? (Choking sounds)
Is your mom a hamburger? Because her buns are looking mighty juicy
What is the least spoken language in the world? Sign language
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Hall of Famer [22948]
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Joined: 12/2/00
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Re: Junge project time
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Mar 6, 2024, 8:03 PM
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Did you know trees poop? How else are #2 pencils made?
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All-TigerNet [11213]
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Posts: 14770
Joined: 6/29/01
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What do you call a cat with 4 legs?
Mar 6, 2024, 9:57 PM
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Octo-puss
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All-TigerNet [11213]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 14770
Joined: 6/29/01
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How do you make an eggroll?
Mar 6, 2024, 9:58 PM
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Push it.
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All-TigerNet [11213]
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Posts: 14770
Joined: 6/29/01
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What has 5 toes and is not your foot?
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Mar 6, 2024, 9:59 PM
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MY foot...
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All-TigerNet [11213]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 14770
Joined: 6/29/01
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Why do cows have small hooves?
Mar 6, 2024, 10:01 PM
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They lactose
(9-10 year olds may not get that one tho...)
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All-TigerNet [11213]
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Posts: 14770
Joined: 6/29/01
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Where can you learn to make ice cream?
Jul 4, 2021, 11:30 PM
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Sundae school
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Replies: 37
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