like "50/50 balls" is another charge that drives me nuts. Here's how our "finesse" offense works:
* We spread you out and throw 50/50 balls to the sidelines and make your LBs run to the edge and make your CBs dig deep, then come back hard - and then if they miss the tackle have to reverse again to chase the WR. The LBs have to chase the WRs...... all of which wears out legs on the defense - LBs and DBs..... meanwhile, DEs and DTs are chasing inside only to have to chase to the boundary if the WR gets loose..... wears out their legs, too.
* Once your LBs and DEs start cheating toward the edge, we run the RPOs to create more misdirection and broken ankles and pull in the safeties, which wears out their legs and causes them to come in closer.
* You then bring down the safeties, spread the LBs and press cover the WRs - so we hit you with speed down the seam, further wearing out your legs and lungs.
* Pretty soon, you back up and try to keep everything in front - or you try to blitz - and we run Etienne right up the middle of your stunt.
* After a while, you don't know why your coach doesn't sub for you because you're worn out - but then you realize that there's no functional depth that has been developed at your position and you're stuck on the field and out of gas.
* Now we just figure out who needs some playing experience and sub our bench - then run the ball right down your throat.
* Now it's time for you to quit..... crying's optional..... you can do it immediately or wait until the SEC Days and the Paul Finebaum show and give him something to talk about.