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Starter [370]
TigerPulse: 88%
Posts: 175
Joined: 3/13/18
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Happy 35th Birthday to me - Jounge POTD
Mar 15, 2018, 9:56 AM
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Bom Dia from sunny Florida.
I've officially made it to 35, and proven my high school health teacher wrong.
Miss C and I had a contentious relationship. As a libertarian, I never believed her government sourced statistics. She once asked me what the only 100% proven method of birth control was. I replied, "pulling out." She didn't think it was funny, but I let the girl next to me know it was 100% effective when I did it. She told me abstinence was the only 100% proven method. I added that her personality was a close 2nd. She told us that if you did do it, use a condom. I told her closers go in raw. She told me I would die of the aids before I reached 35. WRONG!
She told us that if we smoked the pot we would get addicted to crank, and other weird ghetto drugs. I let her know that a little grass never killed nobody. She said if I kept it up I wouldn't see 35. WRONG again Miss C!
She told us that binge drinking leads to car accidents, and kills your liver. In reality, it just boosts your tolerance so you can enjoy a 6er of IPAs. She said if we kept splitting 30 packs of Natty Ice we'd die in a car accident before we reached 35. Well Miss C, WRONG!
This morning I changed my will, putting in there that I want to be buried face down so Miss C can toss my salad one last time.
THE BIG 3 5!!!!
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Oculus Spirit [79304]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 24960
Joined: 8/29/12
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what's the C stand for?
Mar 15, 2018, 10:06 AM
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####?
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Starter [370]
TigerPulse: 88%
Posts: 175
Joined: 3/13/18
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No, but I should have asked her that
Mar 15, 2018, 10:10 AM
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It was some dirty Greek name no one could pronounce, so we just called her Miss C.
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Oculus Spirit [79495]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 63298
Joined: 10/30/05
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I knew I'd be this way in 4th grade when I refused to sign
Mar 15, 2018, 10:19 AM
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the D.A.R.E "contract", and just as I suspected all of their warnings were pure lies.
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Starter [370]
TigerPulse: 88%
Posts: 175
Joined: 3/13/18
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DARE was such a farce
Mar 15, 2018, 10:21 AM
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I still have the tshirt, and sometimes when I get a little high, I put it on.
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All-In [46905]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 30790
Joined: 8/11/15
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You're playing with fire young man
Mar 15, 2018, 10:24 AM
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that little bit of weed can soon have you sucking off TXTF in a back alley for crack money
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Starter [370]
TigerPulse: 88%
Posts: 175
Joined: 3/13/18
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How's he taste?***
Mar 15, 2018, 10:25 AM
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All-In [46905]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 30790
Joined: 8/11/15
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like baby oil and salt***
Mar 15, 2018, 10:27 AM
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Starter [370]
TigerPulse: 88%
Posts: 175
Joined: 3/13/18
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So you liked it?***
Mar 15, 2018, 1:19 PM
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All-In [46905]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 30790
Joined: 8/11/15
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meh***
Mar 15, 2018, 1:22 PM
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Hall of Famer [23040]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 16945
Joined: 12/2/00
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This Mrs C?
Mar 15, 2018, 10:27 AM
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Heeyyyy
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Heisman Winner [138332]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 63925
Joined: 10/22/00
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Sort of related, but they's a fella on another board that
Mar 15, 2018, 10:30 AM
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Mauldin and I frequent who is a trust fund baby with a couple condos in Anderson and Greenville. He claims that he's seen Perry Noble smoking up on one of the rooftops in Anderson a few times. Entirely possible he's FOS, but also kind of a pointless story to just make up.
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Starter [370]
TigerPulse: 88%
Posts: 175
Joined: 3/13/18
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Sounds like Perry has made some enemies
Mar 15, 2018, 10:34 AM
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Why would that guy make that up? Did Perry forget to knock before he came through the GH?
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Orange Blooded [3184]
TigerPulse: 99%
Posts: 1248
Joined: 1/17/18
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I thought I had the eccentric schtick down
Mar 15, 2018, 1:22 PM
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Oculus Spirit [81356]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 56330
Joined: 9/13/04
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I'm still rying to figure out who you are.
Mar 15, 2018, 1:24 PM
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I thought it was Otis/Hotsawce, but no.
I think its whoever moved to Orlando a few weeks ago.
Am I close?
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Orange Blooded [3184]
TigerPulse: 99%
Posts: 1248
Joined: 1/17/18
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He seems like a real
Mar 15, 2018, 1:25 PM
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Psycho
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Oculus Spirit [81356]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 56330
Joined: 9/13/04
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ahhhh***
Mar 15, 2018, 1:26 PM
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Starter [370]
TigerPulse: 88%
Posts: 175
Joined: 3/13/18
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Oculus Spirit [75895]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 108930
Joined: 10/26/03
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Did you mess up and get it in her hair when you pulled
Mar 15, 2018, 5:44 PM
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out? Is that why she hated you?
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Starter [370]
TigerPulse: 88%
Posts: 175
Joined: 3/13/18
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Never actually boned her
Mar 15, 2018, 7:05 PM
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Believe it or not
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