Can I tell y'all about how I did a roomate really dirty?

Sep 23, 2021, 7:13 AM

This is a safe space, right?

Freshman year, I roomed with a dude from my hometown. We barely knew each other in HS, but had mutual friends that "set us up". We had 180* different personalities and struggled to get along. He was an only child and extremely uptight. I think he came from a military family, but don't really remember or care.

We both had the hots for the same girl that lived a few floors below us.

He had some sort of illness (I can't remember what it was) and Redfern prescribed him with some suppositories. He didn't know how to "take" them, and neither did I, but I saw this as a great opportunity to screw with him. I told him to coat them with lotion, and push it in with his finger. He asked how far, and I said to use his pointer AND middle finger and go until you bottom out. Also told him that he needed to hold it in there until it dissolved or it would naturally push back out.

He asked me to leave the dorm room so he could have some privacy, so I stepped outside the door. Girl that we both liked happened to be passing by, and I told her she should go say "hey" to roommate because he was having a rough day. She opened the door and found him laying on his bed with half his fist in his stinkeye. Shortly there after I took her on a few dates and my roommate barely talked to me for the rest of the year.

/csb