Standout [311]
TigerPulse: 98%
Posts: 202
Joined: 8/20/18
|
2023: A Hate Odyssey
6
6
Nov 20, 2023, 9:18 AM
|
|
There has been a lot of hate thrown around this year on this board, between the on field performance of the football team, discontent with coaching across multiple sports, and of course all the political diatribes. It’s been a regular player haters ball on here. However, now is the time to channel all of the hate, anger, malice, ill-will, and TDs towards a common enemy. I speak of course of our inbred distant cousin Eddie’s in the armpit of the state, the shower curtain watching, dirt pecking, port-a-potty shagging, battery tossing USuCks coots.
It’s fitting that their mascot opens to a song with “Odessey” in the title. In mythology the original Odesseus took 10 years and lost most of his crew to travel 200 miles, give or take, because the crew fell for every trick in the book and the captain couldn’t keep them on course, albeit even they probably wouldn’t fall for our fake punts… But I digress. The coots have been wandering the college football desert looking for so much as a conference championship long enough to make Moses look like Magellan. The only time they even came close they managed to set the record for most spectacular beat down in SECCG history, most impressive.
Last year was a bitter pill to swallow, I was a student when the dark days of the “high five” era began, and I forgotten the visceral rage that losing to Spurrier and his undermatched teams caused. Last year was a very unwelcome reminder of those times. I hate seeing joy in coot fans, nobody deserves it less than someone who chose to root for a school who blasts the fact that they “Love c**k” on everything they own. Let alone that idiotic shower curtain “magic” trick at the start of every game. Maybe South Carolina fans are amazed by it because they don’t actually know what a shower is or how it’s used. And of course their abomination of a stadium that looks like a dead palmetto bug in the middle of an abandoned industrial complex. If the stadium ambiance they were going for was “Terminex commercial” they certainly nailed it.
But it’s a new year and hate week is a great time because we get the chance to stuff and cook two giant birds within a single long weekend. Not to mention this is my favorite type of coot team coming into rivalry week, a 5 win coot team full of hope! That means we have the chance not only to reclaim bragging rights in the state, but a chance to bar them from so much as a Famous Idaho Potato Bowl bid. We all need to channel all of the negative energy from the year into this game, forget everything else. I don’t care if you’re a sunshine pumper, a Dabo trasher, an armchair coach, or #### even if you’re Tyler from Spartanburg himself, we all need to unite behind a single hateful banner and keep the coots home for Christmas.
I only have 2 hopes for Dabo’s strategy this game. First and foremost, no more fake punts, and two, show no mercy. There’s no ACCCG this year to rest up for or playoffs to think about. Keep the starters on the field until 0:00 and break the scoreboard. No foot off the gas pedal, no backups, no garbage time consolation scores, just playing with bad intentions and domination through rage.
I don’t care if it’s football, basketball, chess, or badminton. I hate the coots and everything they stand for. I hope they lose every game they play bad enough make their fans cry tears of unfathomable sadness on the way back to their hobbit holes. #### they could be matched up with North Korea and I’d be cheering for the midget rocket men.
Happy hate week everyone, crush the coots
|
|
50
