Who Says We Old Guys Don't Know How to Habve Fun?

Jul 2, 2018, 12:38 PM

Here's one oldster's account of a visit to a Walmart.

Yesterday I wore my Vietnam Veteran's cap to Walmart. There was nothing in particular I wanted, but since I'm retired, trips to Wally's World is always good for some comic relief. While standing in line to check out, the guy standing in front of me, probably in his early thirties, asked, "are you a Viet Nom vet"? "No"., I replied. "Then why are you wearing that cap"? "Because I couldn't find one for the War of 1812". I thought that was a pretty snappy retort.

"The War of 1812 huh", the Walmartian queried. "When was that"? God forgive me, but I couldn't pass up such an opportunity. "1946", I answered, as straight-faced as possible. He pondered my response for a moment and responded, "why do they call it the War of 1812 if it happened in 1946"? "It was a Black Op Mission. No one is supposed to know about it".

This was beginning to become fun. "Dude! Really"? "How did you get to do something so cool"? I glanced furtively around me for effect, leaning toward the guy and in a low voice I said. "I'm not sure, I was the only Caucasion on the mission". "Dude", he was really getting excited about what he was hearing. "that is seriously awesome! But, didn't you kind of stand out"? "Not really. The other guys were wearing white camouflage". The moron nodded knowingly.

"Listen man", I said in a very serious tone, "you can't tell anyone about this. It's still classified 'Top Secret' and I shouldn't have said anything". "Oh yeah"? He gave me the 'don't threaten me look'...."like, what's gonna happen if I do"? With a really hard look I said. "You have a family don't you? We wouldn't want anything to happen to them, would we"? The guy gulped, left his basket where it was and fled through the door. The lady behind me in the line started laughing so hard I thought she was about to have a heart attack. I just grinned at her.

After checking out and going to the parking lot, I saw dimwit leaning in a cr window talking to a young woman, Upon catching sight of me, he started pointing excitedly in my direction. Giving him another 'deadly' serious look, I made the 'I see you' gesture, He turned kinda pale, jumped in his car and sped out of the parking lot.

What a great time! Tomorrow I'm going back wearing my Homeland Security cap. Then the next day I will go to the driver's license bureau wearing my Border Patrol cap and see how long it takes to empty the place. Who said retirement is boring? You just need the right kind of cap.

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This happened about 4-5 years ago in the now-closed Bi-LO on 93 in Clemson.

As usual, the wimmins at home were inventory deficient on some ingredients we needed for the next day's tailgate, so Poppie(71PR) jumps in the car for the routine Friday night trip.

I got all that was on the list and proceeded to the check-out lane. In front of me was two male college students(looked older than 21 for sure) cutting up with the cute check-out girl at the register. When they set their beer up on the ramp, she politely asked for their ID's since both were buying. They pulled them out, handed them to her, and remarked, "don't tell anyone, but these are fake..."

The money exchanged hands, then I spoke up to the two guys. "That was one hell of a revelation to make public, especially in front of a SLED Agent." They started stammering and I quietly told them to just stand at the end of the counter beside ours. I paid for my items, then turned to them. They were still holding their Drivers licenses and so I politely asked to see them, one at a time.

Quite naturally they were authentic, so I told them that making statement like that could get them into more trouble than they'd ever expect. I told them to be on their way and not pull such foolishness again. They dissapeared faster than a Coot down 45-0 at halftime.

All this time, the young lady just stood and watched. Finally, she asked me if I really was a SLED Agent, to which i replied, "NO, I am not." We then both busted out laughing and there were about 10-15 people who were trying to figure out what just happened.

Who Says We Old Guys Don't Know How to Habve Fun?

Re: Who Says We Old Guys Don't Know How to Habve Fun?

Truth***

Hot damnn JoE..you Rock Man!

Re: Hot damnn JoE..you Rock Man!

Re: Hot damnn JoE..you Rock Man!

Re: Who Says We Old Guys Don't Know How to Habve Fun?

So you're going all Jerry Clower on us, hun?

Re: Who Says We Old Guys Don't Know How to Habve Fun?

Re: Who Says We Old Guys Don't Know How to Habve Fun?

Re: Who Says We Old Guys Don't Know How to Habve Fun?

Re: Who Says We Old Guys Don't Know How to Habve Fun?

We Old Guys Know How to Have Fun

Moral of the story

Re: Moral of the story

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