Tired of the BS

Nov 12, 2019, 6:22 PM

What makes a Blue-Blood, or, the Historical Hall of Shame

Are all wins equal? I like historical stuff, and so from time to time I peruse our potential opponents histories to see how have built their vaunted legacies. Sometimes it's interesting, when a school says proudly that they went "whatever and 0" to see what that "whatever and 0" consisted of. It's particularly relevant this year since we are being hammered over our schedule our “loss” to UNC, and running up the score on NCState. So lets take a look back at some other schedules and wins from the storied blue bloods of college ball.

Like the long running rivalry between Nebraska and Lincoln High School that padded the Huskers resume by a half dozen wins over the years. Or, the time UNC was able to squeeze a game in against the NC School for the Deaf and Dumb for a big win. Or Michigan's take down of the Detroit Physicians and Surgeon team, 28-0. Not to be outdone, ND hung 104, 142, and 92, all to zero, on the residents from “American Medical.” Luckily they could all reset their own broken bones.

Penn State tried to pad their all time record the same way but sadly fell to the Duquesne Athletic Club and the Steelton YMCA along the way. I'm sure there's more than one shower joke in there best left unsaid. LSU gets a big thumbs up for beating their own freshman class for a recorded win, the New Orleans Gym for another, and in what might have been the first international win by a school ever, a big take down of Havana University at Cuba. No doubt celebrated with local cigars. Let me back up just a minute with a double-take. Yes, LSU once beat LSU to go 1-0 in an early season victory against themselves. SMH. Convenient. Scout team scrimmages now count for your permanent record. Then of course there's the famous 222-0 GT/Cumberland game, where GT humiliated a team that didn't even exist, since they were disbanded the year before and only represented by hapless volunteers outfitted in leather helmets and thrown on the field like slaves to lions in the Coliseum.

But these are all small time embarrassments. Some wins are weak, and some wins are just wrong. Let's finally turn to Oklahoma, who terrorized little Kingfisher College for some of the worst repeated beat downs in game history. In consecutive "contests", the poor kids from Kingfisher were beaten 55-0, 46-5, 40-0, 74-0, 67-0, 67-0, 96-0, 179-0 and 157-0, before finally going defunct as a school. Just who were these elite warriors the mighty blue-blood Sooners vanquished?

From Wikipedia: “Founded by the Rev. Joseph Homer Parker, a Congregationalist Minister...[in its 28 years of existence] a total of 117 students graduated from Kingfisher College, 55 women and 62 men. The graduating classes never exceeded 12, including two classes of two members. The two initial years both produced only one graduate...the college was forced to close in 1922 due to declining donations [and perhaps medical expenses from their OU games].

Shame, Oklahoma, shame. For 9 more wins in your all time record you Stoop to this level? How easy is it to go 47-0 when your opponents are literally Sister Sadie Dinkins (or rather, J. Homer Parker's) seminary students? So the next time you see an impressive all-time win record, or someone criticizes Clemson for our second string throwing a pass in the 4th quarter against NCState, think about those blue blood legacies, the freshmen of LSU and Lincoln High school, the swarthy gym rats of New Orleans and Pennsylvania, and the poor, pious congregationalists of little Kingfisher College, and give the those blue-blood and media critics a big middle finger.

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