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YOUR BALANCE
I don't mean to bore yall with my family stuff, but
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I don't mean to bore yall with my family stuff, but


Apr 12, 2019, 9:33 PM

my brother OD'd for a 2nd time in 4 days last night. That's not a good sign even as far as heroine junkies go.

At this point, I hope he ends up homeless and penniless rather than dead. That's a best-case scenario unless something drastic changes.

God bless mama and daddy. They're feeling this 100x worse than I am. And I know how I'm feeling it. So that's bad. I got physically nauseous yesterday morning when Dad texted me and said they found him and his truck in a ditch. He got a DUI and will likely lost everything this time.

We've already sunk $20k into this addiction since January. At some point, our financial contributions become enablers more than helpers.

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He sounds suicidal. And I’m sorry for what you guys are going through right now.


Apr 12, 2019, 9:46 PM

He’s probably already told someone somewhere that this is his last go of the drug. And if it doesn’t kill him he will quit. It’s flawed and addictive thinking that’s fueling him. He needs to go to an emergency room and be committed against his will. If someone can get him to admit that he’s trying to harm himself it may work. Unfortunately, the treatment still might not take. Hopefully he hits rock bottom before he loses his life. It’s on him at this point of course. He has to want to live healthy.

I’m sorry too. I love you and hope your brother finds that thing that makes him fly right again. Even if not for him, for all those that care about him. Then in time, maybe he can care for himself.

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So sorry for him and y'all. T's and P's continued


Apr 12, 2019, 10:02 PM

Addiction is a horrible thing.

Do not apologize for sharing - we do care about our fellow lungers.

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Are you positive it's heroin?


Apr 12, 2019, 10:52 PM

I would guess it's fentanyl. It's cheaper than heroin, more available and comes in much physically smaller doses. It's so tiny the neighborhood supplier can't cut it properly. It can be stepped on five times right and once wrong and for every ten weights of doses only two may have all the drug while the others are just junk filler.

My next door neighbor died of a fentanyl overdose, a man who lived on the other side of him died the same and a woman one block over suffered the same fate.

Yes, I've was around junk in the 60s and early 70s then for the last decade after the family grew up and yes my family is experienced in dealing with multiple addicts with a variety of drugs.

I had a bout with codiene as a yute and I'm a sobered drunk now.

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I'm almost inclined to think that you're on to something, 88


Apr 13, 2019, 4:48 PM

He had 10 dollars in his pocket on Thursday and apparently OD'd.

I've never done opiates of any kind, but I can't imagine that $10 is enough to OD on unless it's laced with some weird ####.

I hadn't thought about it. How would you know that? Can a drug test differentiate heroin or fentanyl?

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You could get 10 people high with 10 bucks worth of...


Apr 13, 2019, 6:53 PM

fentanyl. That how it happens. They put 10 dollars worth of fentanyl in a mixture of filler and the size of 10 dollar worth of fentanyl is so tiny it can't mix into junk and be distributed to ten doses.

2000 mics is a fatal dose. To relate that to my personal experience I took a hit of Berkley Green acid back in 1970ish. It was reported to be 2000 mics. The real relationship is just how one drops a 2000 microgram onto a pill. Back then LSD was young and produced in quality which was sticking the tip of a needle or pin in the liquid and touching it to an aspirin sized tablet or a piece of paper. Heard of window pane?

A friend and I shared the cost of the acid and split the pill about the time we walked into a Presbyterian youth meeting one Sunday evening about 7PM. I got off bigly during the meeting and was freaking out by the end. I said something about the high of my life when my friend and I got outside after the half hour meeting and he said he wanted his money back because he didn't get high.

Another friend walked with me as a trip sitter until 8am the next morning. We didn't use the current term but I was indeed tripping balls. I considered jumping in front of trains and crossing the four lane without knowing how far the cars were from me. Tracy and I became real friends after that night.

Since then I have not seen so much confusion over heroin. Usually if not one knows how much they are selling as one dose it's not enough to get a fly high. This is a different critter this fentanyl. Your brother will die if he keeps fiddling around with the same junk dealer.

https://www.harmreductionohio.org/how-much-fentanyl-will-kill-you-2/

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I was really hoping he’d get his #### together.


Apr 13, 2019, 7:59 AM

More for your parents than anyone. This has to be one of the worst things a parent can experience. My FIL always said you don’t really know fear till you have kids. My son just turnt 3 yesterday, and I’m scared as hell about something just about every day. I’m so sorry for your family. Just be strong together, as much as you can. And if you guys are giving money to others for help, and your brother can’t get his hands on it, it probably still falls under the helping category. It is a fine line sometimes, though. If he can pull out of the addiction, one of the next stages will be financial repair because addicts have financial problems 100% of the time. Just hang in there, TB99. The lunge is always here for you.

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Means a lot, gorilla walk. I appreciate the support.


Apr 13, 2019, 4:46 PM

And the advice. No parent (or sibling) should ever have to deal with this.

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Man...I can’t imagine.


Apr 13, 2019, 10:01 AM

What did the $20K go to, out of curiosity? Is that all rehab costs?

Hate that your family is having to endure this.

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Insurance deductibles, additional rehab costs, 3 same-day


Apr 13, 2019, 2:10 PM

flights to and from rehab facility, and keeping him afloat with bills and living costs and keeping him from getting evicted or his truck repo'd while he attempts to get his #### together.

I've personally paid almost $3k out of pocket since January, mostly on the power bill that for some reason I left in my name when I moved out more than years ago...and on helping my working class parents not blow through their savings. Mom, Dad and grandparents have split the rest.

It's not sustainable. He got on a flight today to Florida. This might be his last chance.

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That's a hard part of it too.....


Apr 13, 2019, 3:21 PM

one of my best friends had an older brother who got addicted to anything and everything (he was doing bath salts at the end), and ended up committing suicide after a long downward spiral.

His salt of the Earth parents, who had pretty much lived life by the rules, owned a business, lived modestly, saved for retirement, pretty much bankrupted themselves dealing with his BS during his decline.

Now he's been gone for over 5 years, all their retirement plans and dreams are shot....Dad's doing part-time work in his 70's, lake house mortgaged and long sold to finance rehab.......

Bottom line man, you've gotta somehow convince your family that throwing money at the problem isn't the solution. If he gets evicted, so be it. If his truck gets repossessed, so be it. It's hard to be at rock bottom when you have a home to come home to and a car to get around in. He's living better than he deserves and they're getting financially drained.

Prayers for you and the family though. Everything I just typed is a lot easier for a bystander to say than for a parent to do. I pray I never have to make such a choice.

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Good thoughts, Obed.


Apr 13, 2019, 4:43 PM

Mom has already said that this is his last chance before he's cut off completely.

But Dad is a different story. Dad has always been his role model, confidant, and best friend...and he's the one hurting most out of everyone. And my brother knows it and I think tends to take advantage. Dad is a fixer and a doer and tends to want to be involved in every action surrounding things and gets so emotionally invested that he can't see the big picture.

I'm with you, though. We're going to have to cut him off at some point. I think his first time in rehab was just us trying to help him before he's lost everything. Now that he's caught a charge (and given his profession), he's gonna be barred from public service and the military for the foreseeable future. Possibly forever.

If getting a criminal record, losing your career, becoming publicly renowned as a heroin addict and almost dying twice in a week isn't rock bottom...I don't know what is, man.

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To us, yeah, exactly.....as I understand it though, for


Apr 13, 2019, 6:31 PM

an addict, feeding the addiction is one of the most basic needs....up there with food, water, and shelter.

So compare it to us....if you were literally starving, what would matter more, your next meal, or your profession? If you were insanely dehydrated, what would matter more---your reputation, or a glass of water?

It's why addicts just throw stuff away for their addiction, including seemingly treasured things like the love of their family.....it's overshadowed by their overwhelming need.

Just hypothesizing, but I think it's why rock bottom for so many happens when another basic need is removed......not until you haven't had a good meal in days, or been sleeping outside in the cold or rain, do those other basic needs start to make you question the addiction.

Anyway brother, not preaching at you.....just thinking out loud....maybe some of the random musings resonate and many probably don't.

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dang, I got nuthin'.


Apr 13, 2019, 11:34 AM

except prayers for him and your family. He's got some serious issues.

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Thanks, No. It's not a fun time in the Blood family.


Apr 13, 2019, 4:44 PM

I keep telling myself that this can't affect my life. I'm prone to certain vices myself, and I can't have my parents worrying about me in addition to fearing for my brother's life.

Your kind words are appreciated.

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best to you ,i've already said before but my nephew


Apr 13, 2019, 3:30 PM

wound up with about 5 years in prison
i think this is his best shot

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Prison or homelessness is my preferred option to what's


Apr 13, 2019, 4:49 PM

currently on the table right now. He was brought back from the dead 2 times in a little over 72 hours this week.

I'm maintaining hope.

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Time for some


Apr 13, 2019, 5:13 PM

Tough Love. No more money. Demand counseling.

This is gonna be a tough one. Best wishes.

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I got nothing except hang in there and hope all goes well. ****


Apr 13, 2019, 6:55 PM



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.


Re: I don't mean to bore yall with my family stuff, but


Apr 13, 2019, 7:48 PM

###### man. That really sucks. I dont even know what to say other than I hope for the best for y'all.

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