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YOUR BALANCE
Good morning, how was everbody's weekend?
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Good morning, how was everbody's weekend?


Jun 12, 2017, 6:31 AM

Went to Pigeon Forge for a getaway for the youngest one's birthday. Good time was had by all.

Washed wife's car after we returned yesterday, found a nail in her tire and fixed that too.

9/10 but still dat natty doe

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Re: 0/10


Jun 12, 2017, 6:45 AM

Gave my weekend to United Airlines. Jet lag has not kicked in yet. Su*cks. That is all.

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10/10. Short version:


Jun 12, 2017, 7:13 AM

Friday - off work early to travel to Tazewell, VA. Good eats - chipotle shrimp tacos at the local Messican joint.

Saturday - Varmint 13.1 in Burke'sGarden,VA. I was 7th in Masters, 30th overall. Amish doughnuts and churned ice cream afterwards. Then off to the Repiblic of Floyd. Great eats, good sleeps. Beers by the fire pit.

Sunday - slept late. Breakfast at Blue Ridge Cafe in Floyd. Then home.

Hard week of work ahead then off to the beach Saturday.

10/10. DND.

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I fished 4 days in a row


Jun 12, 2017, 7:23 AM

and still had plenty of qt with the family. I took my brother and nephew yesterday evening and we caught 17 stripers.

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1st of all, how did you get 4 days in your weekend?


Jun 12, 2017, 8:56 AM

How can I replicate this sorcery?

2nd, I red the second part as "Took my brother and nephew to see 17 strippers." Was about to ask for the deets until I realized it was stripers.

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I don't work every Friday


Jun 12, 2017, 9:54 AM

I fished Thurs night, worked Fri morning until 11 a.m.,
Fished Fri night 9-1:30.
Went to in-laws and fished off the dock on Sat.
Back on the lake yesterday evening from 6:30-9

I think 50% of fishermen spell "Stripers" as "Strippers"

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lutz, thought you said "finished" 4 days in a row and I was


Jun 12, 2017, 9:38 AM [ in reply to I fished 4 days in a row ]

all "Is that good?" My personal record is 773 days in a row.

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10/10 since it's still going all week.


Jun 12, 2017, 7:28 AM

Heading up NOGA mountains today.

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Re: 10/10 since it's still going all week.


Jun 12, 2017, 7:41 AM

If passing through Hiawassee and Lake Chatuge, make sure the house is still standing and the boat is in the slip!!

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Re: Good morning, how was everbody's weekend?


Jun 12, 2017, 7:40 AM

Friday - inlaws for dinner, then TV with the wife.
Saturday - pool time with my boy and wifey and then some yardwork and napping. Then back to the pool.
Sunday - church, pool, dinner, tv

Netflix - just got a roku and Netflix is on there, signed up. We hate TV shows and reality TV, but we are watching all kinds of documentaries and its awesome. Cant believe I waited this long to sign-up and watch.

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I'm back biatches!


Jun 12, 2017, 7:57 AM

10 days of glorious vacation is over!!

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Good. Had a lotta ##### because GF and me fought on Friday


Jun 12, 2017, 8:10 AM

afternoon. A couple of doggy-style-only sessions where I'd yank her around and finish in her mouth like the disrespectful bitty she can be, so that was good.

Tried some new beers. Saw my brother before he goes to infantry school. Went and bummed it by the pool.

Pretty basic but relaxing.

7.5/10

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Sounds like you guys are ready for marriage.***


Jun 12, 2017, 8:28 AM



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ROH


Haha, that was about as tongue and cheek as it gets


Jun 12, 2017, 8:30 AM

Rereading it, it sounds bad. But it was meant to be funny so ¯\_(?)_/¯

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Take it with a grade of slaw


Jun 12, 2017, 9:13 AM

for intensive purposes

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When you are married and have a young kid you have to wait


Jun 12, 2017, 8:35 AM [ in reply to Good. Had a lotta ##### because GF and me fought on Friday ]

for kid to go to sleep. Then you can have ##### on the kitchen island. Be careful not to lett bawls hit the edge of the island or you will finish too soon.

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The next time I am over, can you show me exactly where


Jun 12, 2017, 10:03 AM

MsLuvins bare butt was... also where your balls hit?






































Mostly, where your balls hit.

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If you are over in the next 6 days


Jun 12, 2017, 10:05 AM

you might can see my butt crack on the security camera footage

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By the pool


Jun 12, 2017, 10:33 AM [ in reply to Good. Had a lotta ##### because GF and me fought on Friday ]

I Farted. 6 ####### walk by. 5 epic responses. One puked in the pool

10/10

-Doc

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I've been wrong two times, but this isn't one of them.


Re: By the pool


Jun 12, 2017, 10:39 AM

FAgets

-Doc

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I've been wrong two times, but this isn't one of them.


Busy busy busy


Jun 12, 2017, 8:26 AM

Friday went downtown and to music on main. Drank a few beers that snuck up on me and then went to Basil for dinner. I'm not sure if it was because I was borderline hammers or because it was delicious, but it was #### good food. I will be back soon. We then proceeded to stay out till about midnight watching game 4. I was definitely a little hammers.

Saturday I fought off the hangover and went and walked around the farmers market downtown and then around falls park before going to Terrace for breakfast. It was great, not one of us was able to finish out whole meal and the bloody mary's were top notch. We then ran a few errands and then got ready to head to a house warming party for one of wife of ST's friends. Had a couple beers there and had a good time. I met one of Tom Winkopp's lackeys at the party and he told me about developing the abernathy and other places around town. It was interesting hearing from the other side.

Sunday I slept in and then watched a movie while lady of ST had lunch with one of her good friends. We then packed a cooler and went and played some volleyball and hung out at the pool. We finished the night off with some more Thai food and then I fell asleep around 9:30-10:00.

Edit: I was able to split a Three Claw with a buddy yesterday. He found 8 of them in Pawley's Island. It was delicious as expected.


Message was edited by: SwimminTiger®


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ROH


Good until I decided to make a bold post on Facebook.


Jun 12, 2017, 8:26 AM
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S??? ????? ???? ??? ??????? ?????? ???? ??? ??????,
S??? ????? ?? ?? ???????? ???? ? ??????? ??? ????? ?????..


Lutz @ the mad fatty who got left off the list.***


Jun 12, 2017, 9:02 AM



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Went to a wedding Saturday


Jun 12, 2017, 8:34 AM

so free beer at reception. It was outside, so very hot. But free beer, so 9/10.

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Magnificent.


Jun 12, 2017, 8:38 AM

Friday, Went to Teh Diamond in Charlotte and had fried bologna sandwich, hush puppies, and a few Schlitz. Then, walked next door and let Drivin' N Cryin' melt my face off with incredible LOUD rock and roll.

Saturday, up early with ears still ringing, pup to vet for annual check up and overnight board, then off to hippie niece wedding in the mountains. A grand time was had by all, lots of close friends and family, much free beer, and drunken dancing. Back to hotel around 10, walked next door and got a few tacos and burritos, drank more beers, and crashed.

Sunday, shockingly woke up with no hangover AND ears had stopped ringing from being directly in front of the stage for Drivin' N Cryin', ate crappy hotel breakfast and laughed at the mouth-breathing Neanderthal dolt chick that was our server. The most confused person I've run across in years, and I'm stopping short of blatantly calling her an unapologetically stupid idiotic moron. Nonetheless, we finally got out of the hotel and off to Boone to wander the streets for a bit. Mast General Store was having a huge sale, but I managed to get out of there without buying anything, although I almost left with a jar of their bacon jam, which is splendid, but did not want to wait in line. Drove back down the mountain, stopped in Hickory and looked at campers, then back home to pick up pup, go to grocery, get in a few chores, and settle in to watch Fear The Walking Dead, then bed.

11/10 Yelp stars, because I don't let weekends go to waste. I can relax and get some rest when I get to work on Mondays.

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Good


Jun 12, 2017, 8:38 AM

Friday: early start, had mandatory fun at work, went to a park, ate good food, played volleyball, 2lbs of sand in each shoe

Saturday: much ado about nothing, grilled a delicious meal

Sunday: more to do about nothing, watched MAGA draw with Mexico, watched end of the Stanley Cup


8/10

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WhoTF plays beach volleyball with shoes on?


Jun 12, 2017, 8:43 AM

Everything else sounds great though

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ROH


I'm guessing it's the people that don't want to get their


Jun 12, 2017, 8:46 AM

foot stepped on by the cows they're playing volleyball with?

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I imagine MauldinT as a pretty agile guy.


Jun 12, 2017, 8:50 AM

He should be capable of avoiding any lumbering cows in the sand.

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ROH


I did it because I saw all the idiots


Jun 12, 2017, 8:59 AM

stepping through all the effing briars to chase the ball when it left the playing area.

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So you're either brilliant or you became the ball fetcher


Jun 12, 2017, 9:07 AM

either way I'll allow it because briars suck.

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ROH


Kinda homebound


Jun 12, 2017, 8:41 AM

Wifeof was on call at the hospital this weekend. Had to be able to get there in 30 minutes so we stayed in close proximity. Only got called in Saturday morning for someone's burst appendix.

Fridy - stayed around the house after the gym. Drank bourbon and beers, then bed.

Satidy - Had a lol that FBCoach bot the banhammer in his off season and when he's not around anymore. Replaced switch in ceiling fan on screened in porch. Did not fix the problem. Now going to replace the only remaining part that I haven't already replaced in that damm thing next weekend.

Sundy - Changed oil in wife's car. $22 for 5 quarts of Mobil 1 synthetic at Poverty-Mart was not bad. Meal preps for week, adult fun time, beers, bed.


Solid 8/10: -1 for having to stay close to home and -1 for not getting 1 chore done I've been trying to get done for weeks.

RIP ICSIOAIT

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Pretty...pretty good...got a little natty swag


Jun 12, 2017, 8:55 AM
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from my parents for birthday (look at me). Also did some Sunday drinking and checked out the rooftop of Ponce City Market in Atlanta, the carnival games were a little cheesy but they served good beer and it had really sick views.

10/10, including dat natty doe

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10+/10


Jun 12, 2017, 9:22 AM

Friday - Sonof- was not a complete idiot at camp that day, so off to a good start.

Saturday - Company picnic at Six Flags. Got in an hour early. Free parking, free lunch, free funnel cake. No lines pretty much all day. Rode many roller coasters. Definitely now feel old.

Sunday - Church then spent the rest of the morning pulling weeds from three of the flower beds.
Nap then library and grocery store. Then spent the evening watching some damn good hockey and ridiculously good goalie play. Game would have totally played out differently had the whistle not blown and the Preds goal counted, but, alas for the Preds, it did not.


Would do this weekend again. Over and over.

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When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven!


Wife:39 weeks pregnant, ready to pop. She wants the baby to


Jun 12, 2017, 9:24 AM

come ASAP as she is over being pregnant. Around breakfast she reads online that sex/##### apparently helps trigger labour, and so she tells me she's down to #### after our older kids go to bed.
Me: Self employed and working hard/late at night as once baby comes I know I won't be able to work. I legit have not bust a nut in over 10 days, with my little man downstairs popping to attention at the slight amount of cleavage. On hearing my wife about the ##### inducing pregnancy, I let her know I will do my husbandly duty and take one for the team.
THE DEED:
All excited, I make separate dinners for both the kids and us, bath the little ones, read the Gruffalo and put them to bed. Masterchef comes on. We eat.
The son wakes up mid dinner. He had a bad dream, and wants me to stay in his room for a bit. Meanwhile she finishes her food and falls asleep on the couch. Seeing shes asleep, I take the opportunity to shower and wash the "week old salami' smell from under my foreskin.
Finish my shower, go to gently wake her up. She tells me she is no longer DTF. She turns to the side and falls back asleep on the coach
I sit on the recliner in my towel and watch the final minutes of masterchef. The Asian chick slightly turns me on, and my balls feel tender, so I decide to have fap while the wife sleeps on the coach opposite me.
Masterchef ends. I reach over for my laptop, recline back on the coach and put the laptop on my stomach/lap so I can still fap while watching some Asa Akira.
Fast forward 2 minutes. I ###, but given I haven 't come in over ten days, i ejaculate over my laptop screen, straight onto my face and slightly into my mouth. In disgust, I make a groaning sound.
The wife wakes up over my grunt and sees's ### all over the back of the laptop and my face. She gets up, gets very angry, tells me that If I loved her I would have saved myself and came in her, then storms off to bed. I clean myself up, and hop into bed after her. Just as I fall asleep, she whispers:
" I hope it can suck itself, as I definitely won't be, for a long, long time"
TL;DR: Suppose to #### wife as a catalyst for our baby to come. End up ####### in my own mouth while my wife slept, with her now promising not #######/sucking me for the immediate future due to my indiscretion.

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Never has one post summed up married life


Jun 12, 2017, 9:30 AM

.


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LOLUTZ!!!!!!84!!!!!!!!!***


Jun 12, 2017, 9:32 AM [ in reply to Wife:39 weeks pregnant, ready to pop. She wants the baby to ]



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Srs, what number kid is this going to be?***


Jun 12, 2017, 10:10 AM [ in reply to Wife:39 weeks pregnant, ready to pop. She wants the baby to ]



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Re: Srs, what number kid is this going to be?***


Jun 12, 2017, 10:49 AM

r/TIFU

This aint me. I don't really dig on over-produced Japanese American pr0n.

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Lutz, I stopped reading after the first sentence


Jun 12, 2017, 11:02 AM

so I didn't realize it was a good story...

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I hope all of this is 100% true


Jun 12, 2017, 10:20 AM [ in reply to Wife:39 weeks pregnant, ready to pop. She wants the baby to ]

actually, i don't even care. That was incredible.

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Can't think of a better a RAGr for this to happen to.


Jun 12, 2017, 10:41 AM [ in reply to Wife:39 weeks pregnant, ready to pop. She wants the baby to ]

-Doc

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I've been wrong two times, but this isn't one of them.


Ahh, from what I hear


Jun 12, 2017, 5:24 PM [ in reply to Wife:39 weeks pregnant, ready to pop. She wants the baby to ]

just SIIHB.

Baby pops out tomorrow.

HTH

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I had nothing but bad luck with electronics.


Jun 12, 2017, 9:36 AM

Saturday I bought an air conditioner window unit for my MA apartment because 100 degrees. Purchased, brought it home, opened it up. I've never seen more packing material in my entire life. It was truly breathtaking. Went to put it in the window and, oh yeah, I guess I should have measured first. By now you'd think I'd be used to squeezing large things into small openings. Alas.

Oh well, I moveon.org and just kinda sweat it out. Decided to put a movie on and the bluray wouldn't power up. Da fug? The wires behind my TV are like an Indiana Jones booby trap and anything you do back there has to be with the utmost precision. I scooted the TV towards the edge of the stand while contorting my body like cirque du soleil to get to the surge protector. Yada yada yada TV does a faceplant and now the screen looks like a robot's facemelting acid trip. I purchased this TV in October, by the way. It's not like a 12 year old DLP. I was so mad at this point I went to a place beyond anger, a place no man should ever visit.

The next day I went out to purchase a new TV. Got a pretty nice fan, too, with a remote control. I set the TV up and when I went to change the volume on my receiver I noticed the fan would turn off and on when I changed the TV volume. Apparently the fan remote and my receiver remote are on the same frequency.



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Never has one man's pain given me so much laughter


Jun 12, 2017, 9:39 AM

.


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Schadenfreude


Jun 12, 2017, 10:05 AM

Ts & Ps for Murc.

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Could be worse


Jun 12, 2017, 9:40 AM [ in reply to I had nothing but bad luck with electronics. ]

You could've came in your own mouth.

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Forget about the weekend. Tigers are in DC today***


Jun 12, 2017, 9:37 AM



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"something in these hills..." -joe sherman


Pretty good...


Jun 12, 2017, 9:55 AM

Friday- Dinner out with 2 other couples and one of their daughters who plays soccer for UGA (no pigs sorry). Good place with a Caribbean bend. Very good Jerk Chicken wings and grouper.

Saturday- head out to Charleston for niece's b-day party. Wife-of with grand plans to take a carriage tour downtown before party, but didn't pack or do anything the night before. I had no intention of taking a carriage tour, but didn't protest 'cause knew we would never make it on time. (+1 experienced husband) Niece's party was good. Got to see 19B with his shirt-off so spank bank is full now! Drank a good amount of beer. But beer ran out before party was over and there was no mad-scramble to rectify the situation. Contemplated going on beer run myself, but was on the good side of drunk to know that that wasn't a good idea. So had a couple of whiskeys instead. I'm not a normal whiskey drinker, but brother-in-law is known for his collection so I'm assuming it was good. Did not report to 19She that her husband posts on T-net about butt-stuff.

Sunday- kids insisted on eating hotel breakfast since making their own waffles is apparently the highlight of their trips. Drove into downtown to show kids battery and big homes and walked through market...then back home by 2pm for daughter-of's piano recital. Lazy for rest of day.

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was there a weekend this weekend***


Jun 12, 2017, 10:21 AM



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great mountain getaway


Jun 12, 2017, 10:24 AM
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Weather looked good, so I took Friday off and we headed to the NC mountains. There were no reservations to be had at Mt Pisgah Campground, but I thought hey can't be that bad to snag a camping spot when they have a bunch of walk ups. Got up there around 12:30 on Friday and there were at least 5-10 cars looking for spots and there were not much left. I must normally camp there in the fall when there is not much of a demand, but it was a little hectic to find a spot. Finally chose one near the ####### butt somewhat secluded. Even though the campsites are close to each other, the trees and shrubbery they got going on makes a lot of the campsites feel cozy and secluded. Hiked around the area with the dog and snagged some wood for a fire. Deal got a suitable stick for chewing. Dog leash is on since he is easier to grab when he wants to hang out with the people that walk by.



Had some tasty italian sausage on the grill for dinner and a bunch of beers.

Got up early on Saturday and made some pseudo egg mcmuffins with Patak bacon instead and got a late start to play in the river at Graveyard Fields. Horry sheet, the place was packed. The parking lot was full but found a great spot down the road and in the shade to park. Everywhere we went during the weekend was extremely packed, maybe because school was over or something. Even with the crowds, we found some great secluded places along the Yellowstone Prong river. Deal did his thing diving for rocks, it is funny when his head is under water and he is blowing bubbles out of his nose. After a couple hours for "scuba diving", hiked back up to the mayhem in the parking lot and drove down to Oskar Blues in Brevard. Got a shady place for the dog and drank a couple brews (IPA and nitro old chub) and got a growler filled for the evening (10$, deal can't be beat). Got back to the campsite (highway 276 was a parking lot in some places) and chilled for a while before cooking some awesome kebabs. Deal was tired and a little bit more understanding of camping life, so he pretty much hung out. Listened to some tunes and burned the last of the wood and hit the bed hard.

Got up Sunday, packed most of the stuff up and beat the rush for breakfast at the Pisgah Inn. Had a perfect spot with a great view and a great bfast. Packed up the rest of the stuff and headed out. Visited my parents for a couple of hours and had the rest of the day to unload and unwind.

Wood do again and again, 10/10

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Cat on a tin roof, dogs in a pile,
Nothin' left to do but smile, smile, smile!!!!


Spent a long weekend at Kiawah


Jun 12, 2017, 10:39 AM

Pronounced Ki-wah by my GPS. Two work days, and I'll call it a summer vacation I guess.

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10U yellowball, some beer, church, worked on foodplots and


Jun 12, 2017, 11:07 AM

deer feeders.

8.7480578427/10.00000000

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Binge - ee


Jun 12, 2017, 11:31 AM

Went to happy hour Friday at Red's. Woke up Saturday still buzzed, continued to drink to stave off a hangover. No idea what happened most of Saturday but there was food, beer, a bunch of puppies, a parrot, late night beer run on the golf cart, and large bar tabs from Shem Creek and Sullivan's Island. Woke up Sunday-- hungover and the shakes, started drinking again. Passed out at 6 pm and slept for 3 hours. Then later, couldn't sleep and binge watched TV until about 4 am.

I am feeling real proud of it all today, and I think my drinking days are coming to an end. I'm too old for this nonsense.

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Got some more unpacking done,


Jun 12, 2017, 11:36 AM

went to a wedding, drank some beer. Wanted to go to Bed, Bath, and Beyond, but wasn't sure if we'd have time.

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Sex, beer and karaoke


Jun 12, 2017, 2:01 PM

butt everyone probably already knew that. Also, Braves game Friday night, Braves win on walk-off pinch hit!!! Look for cars on Saturday, loaded up on beer at Total Wine, home through Athens. Eat dinner at TransMetropolitan. Pretty good pizza! Slight deduction for construction delay in Augusta on way to ATL Friday.

9.5/10, will do again.

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MauldinT, where are you???


Welp, not pertickerulary bad


Jun 12, 2017, 5:13 PM

Friday, not too much, drove to Cootlumbia to meet kid_of_Wilbur to drop off the (hopefully repaired) Jeep.

Sattidy, went to Asbury Landing and tried to fish, no luck but got the feet wet and muddy. Cooked some chicken taco's...

Yesserday, drove to Banner Elk, then Boone and Blowing Rock. Perfect 11/10 Day, 72 and sunny with a breeze. Hung out at BIL's house on Ginger Mountain at 4200 ft ASL and watched the sunset over Linville Gorge.

Today, drove to Nashville for a 3 night venture...Rascal Flatts and Clint Black tomorrow at the Grand Ole Opry, reception from 8-11 on Broadway Wednesday night. Free beers all week!

Still hope to close Friday on la maison de wilbur sur le lac.

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6/10


Jun 12, 2017, 8:46 PM

Spent Saturday evening by the lake with Maria. Great fire and grilled brats. Nice to be just the two of us.

13 hours Sunday working on someone else's problem.

Already had today scheduled as vacation. Suck it man if you think today is vacation after yesterday.

19 days till beach get away. Counting them down.

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