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this still tickles me....
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this still tickles me....


Apr 30, 2019, 4:10 PM

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night, face all covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.
Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to p*ss off and let him get some sleep, but they persisted until he finally gave in.
"OK, follow me", he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of excited bats behind him.
Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a huge forest. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him, tongues hanging out for blood. "Do you see that large oak tree over there?" he asked.
"YES, YES, YES!!!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.
"Good for you!" said the bat, "Because I f***ing didn't."

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Re: this still tickles me....


Apr 30, 2019, 4:25 PM

A drunk Irishman goes into the church, he enters into the confessional stall, the priest enters the stall next to him and says are you here for a confession? After a few minutes of no response the priest taps on the wall and starts to speak, but the drunk says no need to beat on the wall there ain't no paper in here either!

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Re: this still tickles me....


Apr 30, 2019, 4:38 PM

What is a short balding 32 year old man for $200.00 Alex. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Sorry MFO, couldn't resist.

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Re: this still tickles me....


Apr 30, 2019, 4:56 PM

Did you know that a dog can sniff another dog’s rear and get more information than you can by listening to Fox News all day?

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Re: this still tickles me....


Apr 30, 2019, 4:53 PM

In ancient Rome, what was the penalty for parking your chariot by a fountain?

'
'
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They let the air out of your horse.
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I love that one

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One of my favorites....


Apr 30, 2019, 5:07 PM

An older gentleman, out for a walk, takes a break on the park bench. A few minutes later, a freaky looking young fella, sits down on the other end of the bench. He is covered with tattoos, full of metal piercings, and has his hair spiked up and dyed blue, yellow & red.

The old man keeps glancing over at the young guy. Finally, the young freak says, "What is it, old man? You never did anything wild when you were young?"

The old man quickly replied, " Yeah, I once had sex with a parrot! I thought you may be my son!"

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Re: this still tickles me....


Apr 30, 2019, 5:16 PM

Gamecock Football .

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Irishman walks into a bar and orders 3 drafts all at


Apr 30, 2019, 6:38 PM

the same time. The bartender, trying to be helpful, suggests that he will enjoy colder beer if he orders them one at a time. The guy explains, "The reason I order 3 is that me two brothers are off fighting in the military, and can't be with me. So, each time I go out, I hoist one for each of them, too."

The bar gets used to this, until one day, the Irishman comes in and only orders two drinks. No one says anything, not wanting to intrude on his grief at first. But finally, the bartender can't stand it anymore and says "So sorry for your loss, which brother was it?" The Irishman is puzzled for a minute, and then laughs as he explains "Me brothers are both fine. Myself, I have given up drinking!"

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A Dude Walks Up To Another Dude in a Bar


Apr 30, 2019, 6:49 PM

And asks “can I push in your stool?” Both get up and go to a broadway show

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