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All-In [34486]
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Feels good to pee outta my butt again
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Aug 29, 2023, 12:56 PM
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As many of you know, I used to shat my pants quite frequently when I was livin hard.
Well things went the opposite way when I quit partying and started lifting and eating a high protein diet. I haven't been regular in 2 years!
I mentioned this to my doc and he gave me a sample of Linzess, which is a non-laxative medication that you can take daily apparently and it helps keep thing moving.
Ladies and gentleman, my rear end is water hose after 3 days of taking this stuff. I'm painting the underseat of terlit bowls regionwide with the help of this stuff. My belly doesn't feel bloated and I feel light and like my digestive tract is on point again. I'll probably try it for a while and then see if it gets me back regular.
I'm peeing out of my butt again, but this time on my own terms. I've taken back the power and it feels great.
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All-In [44164]
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I guess that is better than ######## out of your ####.***
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Aug 29, 2023, 1:01 PM
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All-TigerNet [11311]
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You know there’s a middle ground right?
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Aug 29, 2023, 1:13 PM
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A nice fluffy post morning exercise and coffee poo…every day. Nobody needs buttwater.
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All-In [48563]
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Not sure I would define that as
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Aug 29, 2023, 1:16 PM
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"on my own terms" but you do you, king.
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Oculus Spirit [79561]
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Love to hear a good redemption story***
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Aug 29, 2023, 1:22 PM
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CU Medallion [66962]
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An empty colon is a wonderful feeling
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Aug 29, 2023, 1:25 PM
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Orange Blooded [3227]
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Re: Feels good to pee outta my butt again
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Aug 29, 2023, 1:30 PM
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That doesn't sound as pleasant as you make it.
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Heisman Winner [136333]
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I'm not a doctor
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Aug 29, 2023, 1:52 PM
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but I did watch every episode of St. Elsewhere back in the 80s. Heed my advice and do a pressure test by seeing how far you can pee out of your butt. I'd suggest doing it in the front yard so you can get an accurate distance measurement with your tape measure. Then you can determine the pressure by using the distance in this formula:
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Hall of Famer [20619]
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Come on, man
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Aug 29, 2023, 1:55 PM
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that's the formula to calculate the depths of Mel's Hole
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Heisman Winner [136333]
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I realize you're probably not very good with math but
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Aug 29, 2023, 2:22 PM
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you have to solve for
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All-In [30125]
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Re: Feels good to pee outta my butt again
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Aug 29, 2023, 1:59 PM
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I had a similar problem for years. Went to my doc and said "I'm taking a big healthy sh** every morning at 7:00 on the dot."
Doc goes, "That's as regular as it gets. What's the problem?
I said, "I don't wake up till 8:00."
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Oculus Spirit [86922]
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That juan got me***
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Aug 29, 2023, 2:18 PM
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All-In [44164]
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FIFY: That two got me******
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Aug 29, 2023, 2:20 PM
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Hall of Famer [20619]
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Heisman Winner [138911]
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Fun Fact: metformin is also quite effective in helping you
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Aug 29, 2023, 2:33 PM
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brew large pots of buttcoffee.
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Hall of Famer [20619]
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Oculus Spirit [94384]
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I'm not a doctor and haven't stayed in any kinds of Inns...
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Aug 29, 2023, 11:50 PM
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in the last 15 years but I say your body will be dependent upon that stuff in less time that you imagine. Two weeks and your bowels won't budge without that medication.
When I get stopped up I cook a mess of collard greens and eat a bowl dosed with hot sauce.
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